Fair

One of my students complained in class that the water polo game he played today wasn't fair. When I asked why, he said that all of the boys had to play in the deep end of the pool and the girls played on the shallow side. The girls were able to easily knock away the boys' shots, while the boys were hard pressed to get out of the water enough to block the girls'. I asked something like, "...and that made you lose?" The boy responded, "No. We still won, but that doesn't make it fair."

As people, we are obsessed with the idea of fairness, as long as it is fair on our terms (and often in our favor). This is the difficulty with all human relationships. My sons were just arguing about the fairness of chores. Trevor doesn't believe it's fair that he is expected to do more than Connor. Meanwhile, Connor doesn't believe it's fair that Rowen doesn't have to do the same choirs that he has to do. I remember having similar concerns when I was their ages.

Then, of course, there is the saying "Life isn't fair" -- an expression often used by people who have what they want when they are explaining why another person didn't get the same. Instead of trying to make life more "fair," we often justify our unfair treatment of others due to times when life was unfair to us.

I hope that I will strive less to seek what is "fair" than to achieve what is right.