Today, I had several hours with just me and the boys while Janelle was at an art conference. I did take the time to play a couple of quick games of chess with Trevor and read the remainder of a chapter of Harry Potter for the two little ones, but the greater majority of my time was spent playing a computer game that I have already beaten (recently, even). Even in my own microcosm, I wasn't really spending time with my children or even working on my writing; I giving myself a false sense of accomplishment by advancing a game.
Compared to people who volunteer at soup kitchens, work at homeless shelters, perform missionary work around the country and around the world, I feel that I have really fallen short. Now, I don't believe that a person needs to do all of those things in order to be accepted by God. God will take us as we are. But if I believe in such a just and loving God, why do I not do more to help other people?
Right now, I am worried about providing for my family when I make so much more than most people in America. I am constantly wanting bigger and newer things. If I have truly drunk from the living waters of God's word, from which there is no thirst, why do I feel so parched? I know of many things that I could do, but they are hard things and my flesh is weak.
I know that God loves me anyway. I know that He forgives my weaknesses. Still, I would like to be stronger in both faith and action.