The above line is my paraphrase of a prayer for Pentecost that was said during our choir rehearsal this past Thursday. Today, I sang the responsorial psalm and gospel acclamation for our mass. I screwed up in a couple of small parts, but I was complimented by several people, so it must not have been noticeable (or at least remarkable). Yesterday, I was asked to sing a short bit for one of my wife's friends; she had heard from my mother and my wife how much they loved my voice.
I love to sing. I love attention. I love compliments. It makes singing in church a bit of a challenge for me. I have to balance my own desire for attention with the idea that the attention needs to be on God. This is what I thought of when I read that first line: I am but a reed.
I have found that if I give myself over to the Holy Spirit that my performances do much better. I still make mistakes no matter how hard I practice (although the more I practice, the fewer mistakes that I make), but they seem to smooth over better when I put everything in His hands. Before it is time to step up to the mic, I try to purge all feelings of ego (those who know me know that means a LOT of purging) and try to embrace the essence of what I am singing. This is for the glory of God, not for my own glory.
It still feels good to walk into the choir loft and see people wave their hands in silent applause. It still pleases me to hear people say how much my singing moved them. Still, I try to remember that I am but a reed. I would be nothing and would be able to sing nothing without the Holy Spirit breathing through me.