Christmas(ish) Songs

I wrote the lyrics for "The Kidnapping of Santa Claus" when I was a senior in high school with the help of one of my friends.  Another friend of mine liked it so much that he agreed to sing it with me at our autumn "Spaghetti Dinner" concert.  There we received such a favorable response that one person asked us to record a tape for her (which we did) and the elementary choir teacher not only asked for the lyrics, but had the elementary choir actually perform it at their holiday concert (my, have times changed).  As a freshman in college, I tried to replicate my earlier success.  While I wrote three verses to "The Bear and Santa," I only liked the first one and can barely remember snippets of the other two verses.

The Kidnapping of Santa Claus
(to the tune of Jingle Bells)
 
Standing in the woods with a shotgun at my head.
If I make a move, I surely will be dead.
He walks me through the woods and stands me by a tree,
And then he cocks his gun again and points it straight at me
  
Oh! If I yell, if I yell, I will surely die.
Santa Claus won’t come this year, and little kids will cry.
Oh! If I yell, if I yell, he will shoot me dead.
What could I have ever done to put this in his head?
​
Now he’s changed his mind and moved his gun away,
And I have to listen to what he’s got to say:
I didn’t bring the things he asked for on his list.
At first he was heartbroken, but now he’s really . . . mad.
 
Oh! If I yell, if I yell, I will surely die.
Santa Claus won’t come this year, and little kids will cry.
Oh! I must run, I must run, just to get away.
First I was just wishing, but now I have to pray.
 
Dashing through the snow with a madman on my tail,
I’m running into trees; my face is really pale.
Ahead of me I see, though it isn’t very clear:
There stands Mrs. Santa Claus with all of my reindeer.
 
Oh! Santa Claus, Santa Claus, this time you have won,
For he has given up his chase and laid down his shotgun.
Oh! Santa Claus, Santa Claus, these words I truly fear,
For then he said, “Merry Christmas, but I’ll get you next year!”

The Bear and Santa
(to the tune of “Up on the Rooftop”)
 
Up on the hilltop, grizzly paws
Cross over the tracks of Santa Claus.
All that is left is a bag of toys.
So much for the children’s joys.
 
Ho! Ho! Ho! Didn’t he know?
Ho! Ho! Ho! There was a bear in the snow? Oh!
 Out of ammunition: Click, click, click.
Into the bear went Old Saint Nick.