Although our Gospel reading deals with the disciples finding Jesus’ tomb empty, this evening mass celebrates the time just before then. Jesus had risen from the dead and no one living knew it just yet. Perhaps the guards on his tomb caught a glimpse before they ran away, but they likely would not have understood the significance of what they saw.

This is the night of the gloriously empty tomb.

Jesus died as a way to redeem us for our sins and thus build us a path to everlasting life. He did so out of bountiful love, knowing that not everyone would understand and that even some who do understand would still deny Him. Yet He did so for them, and us, anyway. No matter how great or small our sins might be, He willingly paid the price for them. 

To be clear, this means that He did not favor those whose sins were "less," nor was He hesitant for those whose sins were "greater." Our sinful nature is such that there is no way that we can fully vindicate ourselves; there is not one of us who can achieve the promised salvation without His help. As such, our best course of action is to live our lives the best we can, always striving to make our world a better place for all of us.

Easter is nearly here.

As stated in our pastor's homily today, when Jesus celebrated His final Passover before His crucifixion, He established two institutions: the sacrament of the Eucharist and the selection of bishops. His final meal with his Apostles became the bedrock on which the Church was established. At every mass, this last supper is recreated, connecting everyone taking part in the Eucharist not just with those who are present at a particular church, but with everyone taking part in all churches and throughout time.

This makes the mass a type of time travel. The priest at the altar is "dialing in" to that special Passover event which took place nearly 2,000 years ago. For the duration, not only is Jesus physically present with us, but we are present to witness that historical meal. Since all masses do this, this truly brings us into a complete communion, not only with God, but with all members of the Church--past, present, and future.

Certainly, not everyone throughout the history of the Church can agree completely on all matters, but for a moment we are one in Truth. This makes it even more powerful when we understand that Jesus' final direct lesson to his Apostles was to serve others, demonstrated when He washed their feet. The Church united in love and service throughout all of time is more than just a powerful force, it is the ideal of heaven on Earth.

In a moment's time, my mind took a dark turn. As it does, it then branched out before me multiple paths of worst case scenarios and horrifying possibilities, showcasing old classics of terrors that come to haunt me from time to time. Some of the unlikely situations that display before my mind are such frequent guests that there is almost a sense of comfort in having their shadows flow over me again.

What are these thoughts? I cannot tell you. In truth, my only confidant is God for these sorts of thoughts, and I have not reached out to Him just yet as a portion of me seems to revel in wallowing in these depressing futures. It's kind of like returning to a familiar, but somber, series of stories only to find that the author has added another volume.

Why can't I tell you? If you search your thoughts, you already know the answer, or possibly answers, to that question. I do not doubt that you would be equally hesitant to share your own personal darkness with me. 

The good news is that I have fallen in this pit before, and I know my way out of it. When I'm done suffering through this self-inflicted gloom, I will turn again to the light and allow the fog to clear, forgotten like the wisp of a dream. Still, I know those shadowy trails will still be there in my mind, ready for my next trek through them.

I went to my first school board meeting on this calendar year (and my second of the school year). I started the practice of attending occasional board meetings during the infamous proposed 25% cut to K-12 education. It was then that I realized that my appearance (and testimony) during times of high tension were not nearly as effective if I did not also show up when the stakes were considerably lower.

Since then, my time at school board meetings has helped me better appreciate the difficulties and complexities involved in running a school district, especially one the size of West Virginia. Not only have I come to appreciate and even grow relationships with our board members these past few years, these meetings have helped me better appreciate the various schools and programs in our district. Almost every meeting highlights a couple of the 40+ schools in our district with presentations from their administrators (and sometimes their students). There are also often awards and other types of recognition for the many great things which the educators in our district accomplish.

Certainly, there are things that I feel our district could do better, but I do not believe that any of our problems are due to a lack of care or even competency. Instead, I continually come away from these meetings with a sense of the immense challenge that running a school district comprised of so many different people with so many different viewpoints and beliefs must be. I hope that my presence there helps to better humanize the teachers in our district and to make it clear that we can do great things when we all work together.

Today’s two Gospel readings show us how quickly people fall victim to the pressure of those around them. Together, they tell the story of Jesus being greeted as a king when He enters Jerusalem only to be followed by cursing on His way to the cross. These are likely not the same groups of people as His followers have largely gone into hiding by the time of the crucifixion. However, in both groups of crowds, I would bet that some of the same people are there, going along with the mobs not out of love or hatred but simply because that’s what everyone around them is doing.
 
Even Peter, Jesus’ closest friend, falls victim to the demands of people around him, over and over again denying that he even knows Jesus. Peter realizes what he has done when the cock crows and Jesus catches his eye. At this point, Peter leaves and weeps, recognizing his weakness in the face of society.
 
Mob mentality has tremendous power to take otherwise good people and push them into places and beliefs that they otherwise would not have. This is just as true within the electronic ether of the Internet as it is in physical crowds. We can easily go along with the people around us and become that which we abhor.
 
We need to look for Jesus and meet His eyes.

Even though snow is still on the ground and spring is only a couple of weeks old, I’ve been thinking about the upcoming summer more and more as of late. We only have five and a half weeks left in this school year. While that is still a good deal of time, I know from experience that it will go by incredibly quickly. Although there are some major plans that are already in place, there is also a lot of unplanned time too.
 
One thing I know is set is that Janelle and the younger boys will be in Wyoming for about a week soon after our summer break starts. While Trevor will still be here, he still has to work, so it will be a strange week for me to mostly have the house to myself--with the dogs to keep me company. I’m not sure if I want to take that opportunity to completely veg out or to try and be productive. Likely, it will be a bit of both.
 
Right after they get back, I’m heading to Kansas City, Missouri, for the annual AP World History Reading. It’s been three years since we’ve done one in person, so I’m really looking forward to this strange mix of comradery and stress. Due to COVID, they are not double-booking rooms. That means a bit over two weeks where I will be sleeping alone.
 
That’s it for solid plans at this point. However, there are a number of things that I would like to do, some on a daily basis, some less regularly.
 
Most importantly, I want to establish an exercise routine again. While I do want to catch up on some sleep, I plan on getting up when Janelle gets ready for work, so I don’t sleep away the day, and starting off with some exercise—even on the days where I plan on working in the yard (which I have been using as an excuse to miss before).
 
I want to plan out my courses for next year in advance. I know that this is usually a way of jinxing what my course load will actually be, but there are some tweaks that I want to make that really shouldn’t be done while the course is currently running and that might take some time to fully figure out.
 
I want to publish my gamification research in an academic journal. This will mean distilling it to only a few pages and sending it to several places.
 
I would like to play D&D at least once a week.
 
I would like to do some movie/TV marathons again. Three possibilities include every movie with Tom Holland as Spider-Man, the Daredevil TV series, and Disney animated musicals.
 
We’ve got the kayaks, so I would like to do some calm kayaking on a few of the local lakes.
 
My repair list includes Scarlet (my ATV), the garage roof and heater, our house roof where the diverter fell off, carpet in the living room, and the boy’s bathroom.
 
I would like to get a new vehicle (as I have mentioned recently) so that Mera can go to Trevor. I would also like another kayak (preferably a two-person one), and I would like to get a basketball backboard and hoop--preferably one that’s a little more permanent (perhaps attached to the garage), but I might settle for a moveable one.
 
I have a LOT of trees to still take down and cut up.
 
Hopefully, Starlink finally send my kit so we can increase our Internet speed.
 
I would like to visit Whittier as we have not yet done so, but I don’t know if this is the year that I want to try and visit Chicken again.
 
I would like to beat at least two of the video games that I own.
 
That seems like enough, but I’m sure that I’ll come up with more.

I've been behind on sleep since the Washington D.C. trip. With the Homer trip one week and prom last weekend, I have not been able to catch up on sleep during the weekends as is my normal practice. I've tried going to bed a bit sooner during the week, but that is easier said than done.

Thankfully, I can head to bed in just a bit tonight and sleep in tomorrow. As long as I don't stay up too late tomorrow night, I should be on course to getting caught up on rest. This is a good thing as I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open right now to type this.

A rebellious part of me wants to stay up a bit more and play a video game (Horizon: Forbidden West is at least as good as I thought it would be) considering that I had been grading from when I got home until our late dinner. However, I think that I'm tired enough that I could even fall asleep while playing that entertaining game. Yeah, I should probably get to bed.

For a variety of reasons, I am seriously looking at buying a new car sometime this summer. Mera (my nearly eight year old Prius) is still doing well and will likely continue to perform well for years to come, especially with her new set of tires. My hope is that she will make a good car for Trevor as he has stated that he would like to get his driver's license this year and start driving himself to and from work rather than rely on the local CARTS program.

My original thought was to get another Prius as I am immensely satisfied with Mera. However, as I have noted before, Toyota's RAV4 hybrid is currently higher ranked than the Prius and is more practical when it comes to driving in an Alaskan winter. Meanwhile, the RAV4 hybrid is one of (if not the) highest ranked hybrid SUV (and even all-around vehicle) based on several of my searches (it tends to go back and forth with Honda's CRV hybrid which has slightly lower fuel efficiency and power, but better handling). In particular, the RAV4 Prime (which can run for 40 miles on electric alone before switching to a hybrid system) is faster, more fuel efficient, and more powerful than even the RAV4 hybrid.

Unfortunately, not only is the RAV4 Prime a bit pricey, I have not been able to find any here in Alaska. I widened my search quite a bit, and found a few available in places like Portland and Seattle, but I couldn't even find them in Michigan. I have submitted a request for more information from the local (as in Anchorage) Toyota dealer, but I'm not expecting the news on that front to be really positive (especially concerning price). 

I have also noticed that the colors are quite limited even on the expanded search. Most of the available vehicles are white, with a few black or red ones peppered here and there. Considering the options, I think that I would want to get a red one. I even have a name picked out.

[Note: Mera seems to know what I am planning and has started pouting by messing with the driver's side door lock again.]

On one of my Star Trek groups, one of the people posted a statement that, although they think the idea of being able to transport almost instantly across great distances would be nice to do, they would not trust the Star Trek transporters. In Star Trek, the transporters convert a person into energy, send that energy to another location, and then reform that energy into matter. Some people consider this to be destroying the original and creating a copy that believes it is the original. This particular person, said that they would not use the transporter because they would no longer exist, but something else that thought it was them would now take their place.

The fact is that has already happened. As I sit here, cells throughout my body are duplicating themselves before dying off to be replaced by their younger copies. It is likely that my entire body has replaced itself from four to seven times by this point in my life, with more vigorous organs being replaced even more frequently. I am, quite literally, not the person I was before. 

However, as humans, we cling so desperately to some idea that there are constants in our existence. Personally, I believe in the Platonic idea of absolute Truths. Still, I am just as certain that our reality is but a shadow of those Truths. For that matter, our senses are extraordinarily limited in their perception of this reality. Thus, we are not currently what we perceive ourselves to be, let alone who we were in the past.

This is a natural part of life, yet so many people wail and gnash their teeth against change. Change is who we are; it is what the universe is made of. Long story short: I'm not afraid of the transporter.

I know. I know. Everyone's "done" with snow already. Make no mistake, even I am looking forward to warmer weather as it means getting to wear my shorts more often when I get home. However, I live in Alaska at least partially so that I could live in a place that gets more snow.

This morning, everything was covered in a glorious white coat of fresh snow. Sure, it made the drive to school a bit more difficult, and it has made our driveway a struggle to navigate again, but it was also so exquisitely beautiful. Even better, because I'm no longer driving in the pitch dark, I was able to full appreciate just how wondrous everything looked.

By this afternoon, the highway, which had been covered by well over an inch of snow in the morning, was bone dry. My driveway is still a bit of a mess, but the trees are bare as though nothing had happened. Still, for a few hours this morning, I experienced an ephemeral wisp of crystalline contentment. 

While I was working at prom on Saturday night, Janelle sent me a text saying that there was a hissing noise coming from somewhere in our laundry room. She didn't smell any gas (which was my primary concern) and didn't see any water pooling anywhere ... at first. A few minutes later, she told me that the hissing was coming from the wall shared by the laundry room and guest room. She turned off the cold water line, and the hissing stopped.

Yesterday, being Sunday, I left a message with the plumbing company who services our heater (a boiler system), and we spent the day figuring out how to get by with only hot water--with a small tank of drinking water that we bought from Freddy's. Janelle had filled the tub with hot water and waited for it to cool enough to take a bath. We then used that water when we needed to flush the toilet. We discussed the issue with friends from church who recommend that we find the leak and fix the problem ourselves using "sharkbites" (fittings that slide into place and stay water-tight without using solder) to reconnect the pipes after cutting out the damaged area. 

While I was back at the school on Sunday to help with clean-up from prom, Janelle and Connor cut away the rest of the drywall that hid the problem. The hot water line was already exposed from what I am guessing was a similar problem sometime before we bought the house. Knowing what I know now, and look at the hot water line, I can see where (and how) they had to replace the previous elbows. Connor was able to see the pin-sized spray of water still coming out of the pipe. It was then that we realized that we needed to open the cold water taps to keep the hot water from running back down the cold water line.

I used a personal day to hopefully get a hold of a plumber and be here when the repairs were made. Unfortunately, none of the plumbers I called were able to come out today. Only one of them might have been able to fit me in later tomorrow. The final one whom I called gave me the same recommendation as our friends from church. He highly recommended that I do it myself, especially since we had already identified the break in the pipe.

It was the idea of waiting, rather the insistence of how easy it was going to be, that pushed me over. I hate doing plumbing work; it often brings out the worst vocabulary in me even when I manage to get it right. I was concerned that I would spend the time, money, effort, and frustration, only to have to call in a professional plumber anyway to fix my botched job. Still, I really hate not having access to cold water. 

I took pictures of the pipes in question next to a ruler so I wouldn't make pipe or fitting mistakes (as I have in the past). I'm doubly glad that I did because I was able to show them to a helpful customer at Home Depot, and he was able to talk me through what I needed and how I was going to get the job done. As long as I was there, I also picked up new door locks for our front doors (which have started to not work properly).

I called my parents on my way home to ask them to pray for me. It clearly worked, because everything came together as it was supposed to (at least, so far). Even including changing out the door locks, the whole process took me just over an hour and cost a bit over a hundred dollars (locks were a third of that, plus I bought a pipe cutter). Better yet, I didn't curse once. 

It's pretty easy to get angry and look for someone to blame when bad things happen in our lives. If there is no other easily available target, we often focus that anger towards God. In today's Gospel, Martha directed, if not her anger, her frustration and confusion towards Jesus after her brother died. As noted by many people in the crowd, Jesus had the power to save Lazarus from death, but He instead delayed. They knew of the miraculous healings He had brought about in the past, but they did not know the miracle that Jesus was about to perform: bringing the dead back to life.

God's design for us is beyond our ability to comprehend. Our focus is usually on our immediate concerns, but God sees well beyond our present state into a wondrous future that is unlike anything we've experienced. Yet this Gospel reading show that God is also concerned with our immediate concerns as well, as Jesus weeps on seeing the weeping of Martha and the other mourners. While God has power over death and can use it as part of His masterful plan, death itself is not God's design for us, but an aspect of our sinfulness and desire for free will. He looks to bring us to life eternal, but we so often choose paths that lead to our own destruction. 

The Good News is that, like Lazarus (and yet better than what happens to Lazarus), God is willing to help us rise despite our own destructive natures. He provides for us a pathway that can alleviate our suffering not only in some distant future, but now in this moment. He is calling to us; it's time to step out of our tombs.