Again, I've had an overall good month, and again the time has flown by.  

In the area of work, we saw the end of one of my best school years and the week-long grading of the AP World History test in Salt Lake City.  I have both been invigorated by my job, especially considering all of the positive things I learned in SLC, and devastated by it, due to the official language about layoffs and further cuts at my school.

We started most of our summer D&D games and I've thus far had fun playing all of them.

I purchased and beat a video game in less than a week, but am still slowly chipping away at the large game of Far Cry 4.  I picked up a couple of other games during one of the Steam Summer Sales and at the GameStop buy two get one free special.  I realize that I am nearing the end of games that I want to get for the PS3 and that the Wii U only has a couple of other games that I'm interested in.  When I was in a similar position with the PS2 (and the PS1 before that), I ended up moving to the next level of system within the next year and a half.  I still have plenty of games to play, though.

We have also continued playing Mariokart 8 nearly every day.  My regular Starcraft II games with my brother have now started to include my oldest son.  We've largely only faced AI opponents, but that has been fun anyway.  My son has also joined in playing Civilization V with my wife and eldest daughter.  We've only had one real session with game, but it was quite a bit of fun. 

My weight didn't do as well this month, but I didn't slip as far as I thought I would considering the ever-present (and tasty) food that was provided to us at the Reading.  I need to get back on my regular exercise program soon (currently, it's more of an irregular program).

And, aside from my blogs, my writing has still been at a bit of a standstill.  I did have one good day of writing, but that was early in the month.  As I hope to polish Dragon Hunter again so I can get it out by the end of the summer, I hope to be able to focus a bit more in July.

I realized today what has really been missing from my life for the past decade, my writing circle.  Granted, it was more like a triangle as only three of us met consistently, but having even a small group of support went a long way in helping me do the writing that I wanted to do.  All three of my big projects were centered on writing groups.  I suppose that, like most things, humans are better motivated when they have a support group.

I came to this realization today as I was talking with my brother-in-law about the writing block that I hit on my newest project (Dark Side Station).  In just a few minutes of conversation, he got me past one of the large hurdles that I was dealing with in the story.  That was what my writing circle used to do for me.  

I don't see my founding another writing circle in the near future.  While this could easily just become another excuse to keep me from writing, I shouldn't need a writing circle to keep me going.  Still, it was nice when I had one.

Today's readings focus on Jesus's mastery over death.  In the Gospel, He raises a twelve year old girl back from the dead.  On His way to do so, a woman suffering from hemorrhages touches His cloak to heal herself.  He tells her that it was her faith that healed her.  I worry a little about this point when it comes to myself.  I don't know if my own faith is strong enough for healing let alone to earn life after death.  It's a scary line of thought, but not any more difficult to deal with than the message in today's homily.

Considering Friday's U.S. Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage throughout the country, it was no surprise that the ruling would be the subject of today's homily.  Due to the sensitive nature of the topic, Father Tim read from the official response from Michigan's Catholic Bishops rather than add one on his own.  This is an issue that I have also danced around ever since the Michigan ban on same-sex marriage came up to vote.  I have been afraid that my stance, which is the same as that posted by Michigan's Catholic Bishops, would alienate both family and friends.

You see, I believe that people should be able to visit their loved ones in the hospital, give their inheritance to whom they choose, and receive the same benefits for living and working together as anyway else.  I don't, however, believe that same-sex marriage is the same as the sacrament of marriage.  While I don't believe that the state has the right to interfere with people's sexual orientations (between consensual, adult humans), that doesn't mean that I agree with, or even condone, people's sexual choices.  Which I suppose is fine since I know that not everyone agrees with my choices either.  In short, I agree with the Supreme Court in the sense that we should not harass or discriminate against others for any reason short of them being a danger to society, and I also am saddened that the same decision separated people even farther from the true sacrament of marriage. 

It might not mean much to other people, but I worry about the corruption (not just change) of our language.  When we change the meaning of words, we try to change the Ideas behind them.  "Love" has taken quite a beating, tending to mean only its basest form.  "Marriage" has expanded past the sacrament to dilute what made it special as well.  What's in a name?  Words hold power, a magic beyond our full understanding.  The sacrament of marriage is more than two people who "love" and live with one another.  Supreme Court ruling or no, same-sex marriage can never be truly equal to the sacrament.

I was doing pretty well for a while there.  Since last September, I had been exercising four or five times a week before I went to bed.  There were a couple of lulls due to illness, but I otherwise did a good job of staying on my schedule.  I had thought that with the more open days of this summer that not only would my normal exercise not be a problem, but I'd be able to get in more tennis time with my father (last summer we played at least twice a week).

Unfortunately, this has not been the case.  Granted, I had a week off due to my time in Utah (where I still managed to get in about four miles of walking a day).  Still, although getting back into a rhythm has been part of my problem, the larger problem is that we've been staying up later.  Since I've been in the habit of doing my exercises just before I go to bed, this means that I would be going to bed another half hour later than these already late bed times ... an idea my wife is also quite against.

I don't like doing the exercises first thing in the morning as we have a number of mornings which we are getting up too soon when the late nights are taken into account.  Any other time has the sweat issue.  I don't like taking showers in the middle of the day if I can help it.

I'll figure something out.  Actually, I need to get out more in general ...

As we approach the end of June, I can't help but marvel at how much cooler the end of the month has been when compared to the end of May.  I was figuratively broiling in my classroom for the few weeks of school.  Now they are saying that tomorrow's high will only be in the sixties ...

Don't get me wrong, I certainly prefer the cooler weather.  And even though the month has had much more rain than the average, I have enjoyed that too.  I certainly hope that the Great Lakes and our aquifers are well-filled because of this.

It does make me glad that I don't live on a lake, near a river, or even still had a pool.  This cool, wet weather would be maddening were any of those the case.  But for a laid-back summer of playing video games and hanging out with friends ... I couldn't ask for better weather.

We started our summer schedule of playing D&D this past Monday.  Starting this week we will be playing at least one game a week (this week, we're playing three).  In some ways, these gaming sessions are excuses to hang out with friends and just enjoy each other's company.  In other ways, these sessions are about stitching together a larger narrative in which each person gets to put her or his voice.

So far, the games of this summer include the Monster Game, the Island Adventure, and the Family Game.  Only the Monster Game is run by a different DM.  In it, my eldest son plays a dragon and the rest of us play some of the standard monster races from D&D.  We try to meet at least once a month.  The Island Adventure is based on the video game Dragon Warrior VII.  Thus far, it is the one that we are most invested in as we have been playing it off and on for over five years.  Meanwhile, the Family Game is on its fourth iteration.  It only meets during the summer (very occasionally during winter break).  Currently we're running the Savage Tides campaign that ran in Dungeon Magazine many years ago.

I am still hoping that the GNOME group will meet at time or two over the summer.  I also hope that the Elf Campaign which ran twice a week last summer will also start up again, although maybe not as often.

I know that all of these adventures take a large chunk of time out of my life, let alone my summer, but I consider it to be time well spent.  While video game RPGs have become much more sophisticated, there's something about the imagination of the pen and paper (and computer) games that we play which makes them that much greater.

A growing awareness of racism has reached the American consciousness after a number of decades of relative dormancy.  Unfortunately, rather than leading a mature discussion and positive solutions, this awareness has divided Americans even further.  In many cases, this has led to a self-feeding cycle of racial attacks and rhetoric that has only continued to "prove" to each side that their racist views are "correct."

What bothers me is how much people are willing to fan the flames of this argument rather than look for any type of compromise.  People whom I would usually consider to be quite well informed and reasonable have taken rather strong (and opposite) sides on this issue, entrenched themselves in rhetoric that borders on hate speech, encouraged the idea of revolution, and spewed venomous bile on social media.  The problem is that they are right.  Both sides.  And wrong.  Both sides.

Racism is a tragic historical legacy in our country that will not ever disappear.  It can, however, be lessened.  It can be mitigated, compensated, and assuaged.  The first step is both simple and tremendously difficult: we must stop judging people by the color of their skin, their gender, their clothes, their socio-economic status, their religion, their ethnicity, etc. and realize that we are all human with more in common than not.  We cannot allow for the "I'll stop when they stop" argument.  The change must be within each of us first.

Meanwhile, expect to see more arguments about flags, news about shootings, and large-scale protests.  However, when you do, be the voice of reason.  Acknowledge the validity of both sides and suggest viable compromises.

Got up late (but not rested due to last night's storm), played tennis with my father, showered, played a new video game (Child of Light), ate lunch while watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, played more video game, talked with a friend, raced in Mario Kart 8, ate dinner while watching another episode of Next Gen, played StarCraft II with my brother and son, put Mumble on my son's computer, and wrote this post.

Many of my days this summer are already filling with various tasks and events (the rest of this week is largely planned out).  I hope to have other days like today too.

Time to race some more ...

A strong set of storms passed through our area yesterday.  While our neighborhood was largely untouched trees and houses relatively close to us were significantly damaged.  We spent the night with our ears alert for a tornado warning and two not-so-little boys in our bed.  Thankfully, we were spared any disaster, but even if one struck, there was very little that we could do other than gather everyone into the basement and pray.

My district is facing a destructive storm of finances.  Like the storm that hit last night, some places have been damaged by these outside forces and others have been relatively unscathed.  We had been lucky for a while, but are now dealing with its devastating effects.  There is a lot of blame going around, but the truth is that there is little that any of us can really do, but ride the storm out and clean up the mess once it's over.

That doesn't make the storm any less terrifying.

Today's readings deal with God's power over the winds and seas.  In today's Gospel, the disciples, who are experienced fishermen, are terrified of the storm that is around them while Jesus sleeps peacefully on a cushion.  They wake Him up and He questions them about their fears and then rebukes the storm, causing both wind and sea to calm.

That Jesus was sleeping is not a metaphor to suggest that God needs to be roused to come to our aid; He is always there, working diligently.  Instead, it is a sign of the trust that He had in both His Father and His disciples.  I think this is why He questions them.  They are experienced fishermen and should know what to do in a storm.  Instead of acting on what they can do, they fret about what they cannot change. 

Jesus is there for us too.  When the waves threaten to overwhelm us and the winds are set to blow everything we have made for ourselves away, God is there.  So often we worry about those things which we cannot change, those forces that are monumentally greater than us, and we do so to no effect.  Only God can change them.  Only He sees the ultimate End.  We need to offer our worries up to Him, and work on those things that we can affect.

God is there for us, and He trusts us to do what we know is right.

We have been getting bad and worse news about the state of our school's finances over the past school year.  The one thing I know for certain is that it isn't because of my wages or benefits, which I have found being reduced bit by bit over the past four years.  As much as I was rejuvenated about my job over this past week, so to have I worried that I might not be able to stay at my job in the years to come.

Among other things, this necessitates my pursuing another degree.  It makes the most sense for it to be a Ed.D. as it is an advancement that can move me to higher levels if my job suddenly crumbles.  Currently, it looks like I will at least be losing my car pool copilot.  While I believe he will still have a job at my district, the uncertainty has sent him looking at a number of other jobs which he is certainly more than qualified to get.  More than the proposed wage cuts (on top of our current wage cuts), added classes, and reduced prep time (perhaps to nothing), losing my companion on my drive to and from work is probably the greatest injury to me due to our district's current problems.

If I am going to pursue the Ed.D., it will need to be from an online school, as I cannot afford to wait until the next school year.  Based on my current research, that most likely means Walden University.  There are still some things that I need to look into before I commit, but I need to start making my move now.  It sucks.  It feels like right when I start to get comfortable, to feel really good about what I am doing, something comes along to force my hand.  I know that there are many people (probably a majority of people in the world) who are in even worse positions, but that does not lessen my worries and anxiety. 

Considering that I left for Salt Lake City directly from my school on the last day of exams, I didn't really count that I was on summer vacation until today.  Alex is here for her MCAT, so I'm probably not going to start a summer schedule until next Monday, but I realize that I need to have one.  For the past week (and the entire school year before) I awoke each day with a purpose.  This past week had me moving so fast that I moved almost without thought.

This morning, however, I awoke with no schedule and ... well ... I felt a bit lost.  It took me a long time to get out of bed, let alone get ready for the day.  Once I was dressed, I still just lazed around, not getting anything accomplished.  I know that part of that has been due to how busy the house has been today, but I think a greater problem has been my overall lack of drive.  Sure, I know that I deserve a bit of a break, but I didn't even start writing this post (let alone the post for the day before) until after midnight when everyone was asleep (I'm  waiting for Trevor's "new" computer, which is mostly made from mine--and thus my brother's--old computer, to finish some "cleaning" tasks).  [That was rather convoluted, which suggests that I should probably head to bed pretty soon].

I need to make a schedule for myself if I plan on getting anything accomplished in the next couple of months.  I (as always) would like to do some writing.  In this case, I plan on polishing Dragon Hunter and getting it self-published (yes, I know that was on last year's list, but I'm really going to do it this time), starting an Ed.D. program online, taking at least one trip out West, getting the Island Adventure forward planned to at least level 20, working on some changes to my World History and AP World History classes, and beating at least three video games that I haven't beaten before.

I know that to do this, I will need to set up a daily schedule, something to guide me (but not overly restrict me) through each day.  Hopefully, I can motivate myself to do even more, while also not beating myself up for not meeting all of my goals.  We will see.

As worried as I was about how the AP reading would go for me and how well I would do while I was there, I had a great experience.  One that I hope that I can repeat next year and perhaps the years after that.  I was an "acorn" this year, but I had a great experience.

There are a few things that I would change.  I would get out more; too often I missed opportunities because I hesitated or just didn't know what I was doing.  I would bring a backpack (especially the last day when I found myself loaded with materials and a five block walk back to the hotel).  I would bring baggage with wheels.  I would bring a pillow for the flights there and back (although I somehow managed to sleep for a couple of hours without knowing that I was doing so on the way back).

Hmmm... other than that, I can't think of what I might change.  I had a great time and I met some great people.  Heck, even the flight out was full of surprises.  I met a family friend in the terminal who happened to be waiting for the same flight as me, and I was a seat away from the man who is in charge of the AP World History listserve (which I need to remember to send him my "bell-warmer prompts").

That said, it is so good to be home.

The final full day.  Every day from this experience has been full of surprises, and this day was no different.  We finally finished the essays and were told that we did really well on both accuracy and time.  My arms were loaded with teaching materials as I made my way back to the hotel.

In our spare time, I went with one of my new friends to Park City, the venue of a number of events for the 2002 Winter Olympics.  It was strange seeing it without snow, not to mention that it's turned into a sort of adventure park during the summer (wheeled bobsleds were still going down the tracks while we were there).  A few miles farther and we came across the picturesque town of Park City itself.  It's a gorgeous town, set up perfectly for visitors.  

Now, it's no secret that I embrace my geekness.  When playing Dungeons and Dragons, it is common for the adventures to meet in or stop by a tavern.  Invariably, someone asks what the tavern is serving, and the running gag is that they have spiced potatoes.  Every time; every tavern.  We stopped by a tavern while in Park City and the first item on the menu was "spicy potatoes."  I couldn't help it; I explained the irony to my friend and ordered it.  They were quite good: fried potato pieces covered in buffalo wing sauce and bleu cheese.

My other surprise was a chance meeting with a man who has been to the readings since the first one for AP World History (2002).  He gave me and one of my fellow first years a few pieces of advice about what to do next, but the one that really struck me was that he suggested we apply to be AP consultants - to run the summer seminars.  He said that we should apply now because the application process can take a few years.  I hadn't considered this idea before, and I'm not quite certain enough in my skills to sign up, but he said that was fine; by the time I've decided that I'm truly ready, I will be offered the position.

I swam for a while and am ready for bed--this final night in a bed that is not my own.