I was rushing a bit in the morning, but I was certain that I got both contacts in. However, as I was driving to Skyview to drop off Connor, my vision was not what it's supposed to be. It took me a little while to realize that I could see fine out of my right eye, but that my left eye had gone fuzzy, like the contact had a smudge or something. I drove the rest of the way, deciding to park in the Skyview lot and see if I could clean the lens there.

Unfortunately, once I had dropped off Connor and parked, I discovered that I could not seem to take the contact out. My eye was getting more irritated with each attempt. With my sight not at its best, I realized that I was not having any success locating the contact--which I now thought had moved away from my pupil and iris. I figured that I should head to my school and check the larger and better lit mirror in the staff bathroom.

When I arrived at my school, I took out my emergency contact case and solution as well as my extra set of glasses from Mera's glovebox and headed to the staff bathroom. My eye looked frightful and severely irritated. While it felt like the contact was still in there somewhere, I could not see or feel it. I pulled out my other contact and switched to my emergency pair of glasses (a non-bifocal, older pair). I even asked one of my friends to see if they could see any sign.

I'm now largely convinced that I must not have put the contact in this morning. However, there's no sign of it in the bathroom either. The good news is that I was going to switch out lenses tomorrow anyway as it's the first of the month. The bad news is that my left eye still feels a little weird, and with the contact still unaccounted for, I'm concerned that it might be curled up under one of my lids. However, it might also be feeling weird because of how much I've been messing with it today, too.

Hopefully it will all be clear tomorrow.

I'm at a loss of what to write about today. Several of the topics on my mind are in the "I don't want to spend the time on this right now" or "I probably shouldn't say anything" categories. Thus, I thought that I would just write a response to the prompt that I gave to my 10th graders today: How well do you feel that your friends know the "real" you?

Although I am fairly open about myself and my beliefs (some might say a little too open), there are still elements of myself that I keep tucked away. In some cases, I don't want to share these pieces of me because they are rather embarrassing, and I would prefer not to examine them too closely myself, let alone let others have at them. In a few areas, any sharing on my part would expose secrets or aspects of other people which they might prefer to not be widely known (if at all). In some, I am concerned about the reactions that these hidden elements might cause if they were widely known. 

For the most part, I am the person who people see (or read). I feel that most people can at least depend on me to continue to behave in the way that they are accustomed to me behaving. Still, I wonder if anyone is truly "real" around anyone … even with just themselves. Considering that last thought, I wonder what parts of the real me are hidden from myself.

The weather has been particularly clear the past few days which is a nice switch from the rainy (and snowy) days we had been dealing with for the past little bit. It has given me the opportunity to work after school at clearing some of the trees that were brought down near our driveway. My primary concern is to have the area around the driveway cleared enough for me to push snow should we have snowfall equal or greater to the amount that accumulated last winter. 

Considering that nighttime temperatures have dropped into the twenties and that we only get into the forties during the day, I did not think that I would have to worry about insects. Thus, I did not wear the mosquito netting that I usually put over my head. Yesterday, I realized that this was an error. Sure, I was fine for the first half hour, but then they started to come out in force. It got bad enough that I had to abandon the task (I was getting worn out anyway). Today, I made certain to switch locations after about twenty minutes, an approach that seemed to work.

Unfortunately, the damage is done. My face and head itch from the numerous bites that I received. I'm actively trying to keep myself from scratching, rubbing, or even touching them so that they will disappear quicker, but I have a tendency to rub my head when tired and have inflamed the bite sites without even thinking about it. 

​Winter can't come soon enough for me.

So … I decided to go with the distance-only contact lens option. I've been using them for the past month and a half at school with "cheater" reading glasses to help with close up items. In truth, they work SO much better at a distance than the multifocal lenses and are about the same close up--which is surprising. As I have been teaching with a mask on, this solution has actually worked quite well and is immeasurably better than trying to deal with glasses the entire time.

As a consequence, I have purchased five pairs of "cheaters" and placed them in strategic locations. The best pair is in my classroom. As for the others, I have one in my bedroom, one in the dining room, one here in my office, and one in the glovebox of my car. Thus far, aside from the classroom set, the one in my glovebox has gotten the most use as I sit in lots waiting to pick up my sons.

Generally, the contacts come back out after I get home and finish exercising. For the most part, I still prefer just wearing my glasses if I have the option and I don't need to wear a mask. However, I like having the contacts for mask-wearing, exercising, and outdoor work. It is nice to have clear peripheral vision too. 

For being the Son of God, Jesus did not suffer from an over-bloated ego. In fact in today's Gospel, He is entirely unbothered when He hears that people who do not follow Him directly are still teaching and healing in His name. Certainly, this sets up comparisons between Him and Moses, who is shown in the first reading to also be glad that others are spreading God's message. However, Jesus does provide a rather dire warning to those that are present: No one is allowed to use His message to lead others to sin. He even specifically tells them not to place the blame on their bodies' desires, going so far as to tell them to remove the offending body parts if they cannot control themselves.

I feel that Jesus' message was clear: we are called to minister and act as witnesses to the world of the glory of God, but we are to do so for the betterment of all people and the glory of God, not for our own selfish desires. More importantly, perverting His message for our personal gratification--whether for sex, power, wealth, or any other sinful motive--is the worst offense that one can commit against God. This is especially true if that perversion leads others away from God and His Word.

I think that this happens all too often in our world in small ways as well as large. Certainly, there are many stories of religious leaders abusing their powers and their followers in ways that make people turn away from Christ. The most notable cases are those of sexual abuse and assault, but this can include those who claim to be Christians but then publicly act in ways that are quite unChristlike. This can include those Christians who condemn and judge without showing the mercy and love of Christ. I worry that this could be me when I frivolously post or say a flippant comment. 

May God help guide me to be better, and thus better guide others.

With just housework tasks on the agenda today, I had an enjoyable, slow start to my morning. Massive, lazy snowflakes meandered their way through the sky, making my morning that much more enjoyable. Thus, filled with pleasant and peaceful thoughts, I opened my email and found that my doctoral study had been formally approved by the chief academic officer (CAO) of Walden University. While reading through my next steps, I received a text message from my committee chair, congratulating me. I immediately showed Janelle, and then called my parents soon after. As I spoke with them, I sent out messages to my family and posted on Facebook. Throughout the day, I have pulled up my Facebook page and felt the warm encouragement and congratulations that so many people sent me.

It still does not feel quite real. I've worked towards earning the moniker of Dr. Marks for over five years (and had thought and dreamed about it well before then), yet it somehow still feels like more ethereal than substantial. The six Dinobots and multiple Post-It notes sitting in front of me as I write this are a mute testament these past five years of work, but although I can touch them, the moment still feels strange. 

Five of those Dinobots can combine together to form one big robot: Volcanicus. I will not do so until I have my diploma in hand. These Dinobots each symbolize the major steps in my journey; together, these steps lead to that diploma. It is not an accident that I chose these particular toys as my rewards throughout the process. With this latest addition of Grimlock, the other pieces will finally be able to come together (except for Slash, but I didn't know that at the time that I bought her). 

As a figure, Grimlock does not disappoint. His designers did a wonderful job of paying homage to the original Generation One (G1) toy as well as the cartoon series while still making him capable of literally holding the other Dinobots together. He towers over the other Dinobots in a way that his G1 model did not, just as this step in my journey towers over the other still-significant steps that I took. 

​It's been a good day.

We started reading The Crucible in my 11th grade language arts class today. The play is a deliberate reference to McCarthyism that was occurring at the time of its original production in the 1950s. As such, it is easy to identify with John Proctor as the clear protagonist of the story as he is falsely accused and dies rather than spread lies about his friends. Abigail Williams, the girl who spreads those lies and false accusations, is clearly meant to be the chief villain. It is she who started the entire fiasco with her desire to have John for herself and who manages to fatefully turn Mary Warren in the third act.

Yet Abigail's story is not so straight-forward. As a child, she witnessed her parents murdered in front of her. She was then taken in by a resentful and selfishly self-righteous uncle. As a teenager, she fell in love with John Proctor--a married man--who committed statutory rape upon her. At the point that the play begins, she had been cast out of the Proctor's home with her reputation soiled, blamed for Proctor's crime. The story ends with her fleeing in disgrace with the suggestion that she becomes a prostitute, as though that is some sort of karmic justice. Certainly, for a long time I thought of her as such. It is only in the past decade or so that I have come to realize that she was a victim.

The true villains of the story are the Putnams. From the beginning, they are the ones who use the fear of witchcraft for their own personal gain, which is especially ironic as it was Ann Putnam who first sends her daughter out to "traffick with spirits." By the third act, it is clear that the Putnams are using the witch hunt to increase their own property and prosperity. Even in the end, they never receive any kind of justice for (or even acknowledgement of) their part in the horrid affair. 

I still like John Proctor as he manages to redeem himself in the end, not just by refusing to lie about his friends, but in his final request for forgiveness. Still, I do not like how vilified Abigail Williams is made out to be, especially considering that the true villains (not just the Putnams, but also Judge Hathorne and Governor Danforth) manage to escape unscathed. I suppose it makes sense that this is the case, as Arthur Miller put this play to stage while McCarthyism was still at its height and the villains in that part of history were still profiting from their own witch hunts. 

I started writing this post too late. While there are several topics on my mind, they all require more time than I should give them right now. It's my own fault. I took a mental break today and played the new game that I downloaded to the PS5--Kena: Bridge of Spirits. Despite the beautiful visuals, I wasn't quite hooked on the game until they gave my character a bow. Now I want to collect all of the hats for the little critters that follow my protagonist around. 

Perhaps on some other day I will deal with the topics that have been floating in my mind today. However, maybe it's better that I was diverted as some of the those topics were hackle-raisers. Instead, I have pleasant thoughts of small black fuzzy creatures with toothy grins and goofy hats who accompany a determined young woman who is freeing her land from decay and corruption.

Here we are, sitting on the edge of light and darkness, waiting for the night to increase its hold on our side of the world while the other end gets its opening to bask in the warmth of the sun. The recent hard freezes were nothing compared to the one last night. Any deciduous trees that had been trying to stay green have likely been convinced that it is time to shed the work of this past year and prepare for their beauty sleep.

I was asked by one of our recent guests if the darkness gets to me. Oddly, I actually look forward to it. For me, the contrast helps me to better appreciate the light. Soon, we will be stringing up our orange "fall" lights to help ward off the darkness. It brings a festive air to our home that would not be as effective in our daylight-filled summers. Similarly, the cold and snow which so many people dread help me better appreciate the warmth that our modern comforts provide. 

While solstices show the change in the struggle between light and darkness, equinoxes are about the tipping points in those competitions. Thus today also makes me reflect of moments of fateful decision which have passed in my life and in history. Like this cycle of day and night, I realize that each of the tipping points are but parts of a larger cycle in a design beyond my comprehension. Forward and back we move in so many areas, yet we progress ever forward.

The autumnal equinox is a good excuse to spend time with those sorts of thoughts.

Last week Friday, I was in the process of mowing my lawn for what is likely the last time of the year when I was literally swarmed to such an extreme that I had to retreat and wait for another day. That other day was today, and the difference in experience was striking. Just a few days ago, I was sweating through my shirt as I was mowing the lawn; today, I had to get out gloves as my hands were entirely too cold on the metal handle. As mentioned earlier, I was viciously attacked by swarms of mosquitoes and black flies on Friday, but today there was not a bug in sight despite the fact that I was mowing at the same time of day.

The hard frost and colder temperatures has made quite a difference here. The trees that can turn colors are nearly all turned. The weather is cool enough that I only just noticed that I didn't put on shorts upon getting home … and am still a bit chilled. With autumn falling tomorrow, I shouldn't be so surprised that higher altitudes even saw snow recently, but it does feel like everything turned around too fast. 

I actually hope that this was it for grass growth this year. This last mowing has my yard looking quite nice. I would be happy if it didn't get scraggly before it snows.

Well, I submitted my dissertation for final approval. At this point, it makes one more round through my committee and the university research reviewer (URR) before finally being approved by the chief academic officer (CAO). As my committee and the URR have already approved the earlier draft, and this version includes the changes requested by the Form and Style editor (who does not have to review it again), my committee chair is highly optimistic that I should not have any problems.

With that in mind, I set up an appointment with my academic advisor to start my graduation process. Sadly, due to COVID, the next graduation celebration (held on January 29th of 2022) will be virtual as opposed to the normal winter commencements that are often held at Disney's Coronado Springs Resort. Sure, the cost will be less, but …

I do still plan on getting a good set of robes. I've had my eye on those velvet sleeves and strange, octagonal hats since before I started this program. I will certainly be wearing them when I attend our high school graduations. 

But for now, I wait.

In today's Gospel, Jesus' Apostles are arguing amongst themselves as to which of them is the greatest. Jesus puts them in their place by telling them that "If anyone wishes to be first, he shall be the last of all and the servant of all." Basically, He was telling them (and us) that they (and we) need to push or selfish egotism behind us and address the needs of others if we are to serve Him.

I find it ironic that in our current pandemic it is primarily people who claim to be Christian who are refusing to vaccinate or wear masks. While a few are claiming conflicting research to justify their selfishness, most are trying to frame their argument using lofty terms such as "freedom" and "individual rights." Like the Twelve, they are seeking to put themselves and their own desires ahead of others. It's a human response, but not a very Christian one.

Today was an absolutely beautiful day, which I noticed despite spending most of the time indoors either playing D&D or grading (the former was much more satisfying that than the former). However, it looks like tonight will be our first hard frost (we've already had a couple of soft ones). This is going to lead us into weather with high temperatures in the forties for the foreseeable future.

Although this means that I will likely stop wearing shorts in the near future (I would have been too warm in jeans today), I am also excited for the colder weather that this portents. Even if I do not spend a lot of time out in the snow, I absolutely love it. While these cooler temperatures won't quite get us there, they do mean that we are moving in the right direction.

Once again, I drew strange looks as I yelled out "Happy Constitution Day!" to everyone who passed by me. Students and staff alike gave me a quizzical "What did he say?" sort of look through much of the morning. However, by the end of the day, I had a number of students not only saying it back to me, but preemptively saying "Happy Constitution Day!" before I had the chance to say anything. For those who asked "What is Constitution Day?" I would quickly explain that 234 years ago today the Constitution was officially signed in Philadelphia after a summer of debate between the delegates. It would then be ratified by the states. However, this point truly marks the birthday of the United States of America.

The Constitution is an amazing document that, despite certain flaws (I'm looking at you, Three-fifths Compromise), created a lasting governmental system that wisely allowed for Amendments which could keep our nation intact as it grew in geography and population, and as times and technology changed. Although some weaker attempts preceded (I'm looking at you, Articles of Confederation), our Constitution stands as one of the first times that the powers, rights, and responsibilities of a people and their government were codified. It has become the model upon which other such documents have been built.

It's on days like today that I remember that America is a land built of disparate ideas and people who somehow manage to come together to make the greatest nation that the world has ever seen.