Yesterday, I got home later than I expected from work.  I was getting school stuff done (more than I expected, but not as much as I wanted) while my carpool partner was sitting on an interview team.  I arrived home a little before 6pm, ate dinner, and then had company over until 10pm (we played Carcassonne with two expansions).  I turned on my computer to write a post (for which I had an idea that I have since lost), saw that my brother was online and then played Starcraft and worked on logic puzzles until about midnight.

In short, it was a good day.

I've been playing Starcraft games for almost sixteen years.  I don't know what it is about the game or its story, but both keep me interested and entertained no matter how many times I play through the games.  I've played through the campaigns multiple times, completing them on the highest level and finishing all of the additional awards in the Starcraft II game.

I had liked Warcraft II quite a bit before I was introduced to Starcraft, but once I started playing the latter, the former never really got attention from me again.  There's something about the concept that grabs my imagination, and the gameplay is balanced enough that I enjoy each time I play.  Well, almost every time ...

It was my brother who introduced me to the multiplayer aspect of the game.  I quickly found that while I was able to do very well at his LAN parties, playing on the wide open  Internet was much more problematic.   As I have gotten older, my reaction times have not kept up with the required curve, and I have not dedicated time to practice an hone my skills as my time is pretty limited as is.

Now, playing Starcraft II multiplayer is one of the main ways that I spend time with my brother (who lives a time-zone away).  Much of the time, I enjoy building a strategy with him and facing off against opponents who are more devious than the game's A.I.  Sometimes, however, it's just frustration.

Last night, I had to put up with a couple of harassing players.  I was already on a losing streak, but this just rubbed salt in the wound.  In the second case, we even won, but a member of the losing team made it a point to tell everyone how terrible of a player I was.  I know that it was just the taunting of an immature mind, but it stung nonetheless.  It turns out that he was "griefing" the game anyway.  I am only ranked at silver (which is only one rank up from bronze, the lowest category, where I usually sit).  He had a master ranking (4 ranks higher) but was playing as "unranked" so he could harass lesser players (such as myself).

The problem is that I revert to my lizard brain when I get that frustrated.  I start yelling and cursing at the game.  I yell at my kids if they're in the room.  I pretty much turn into a monster version of myself.  A part of me wants to quit playing the game entirely as I don't like that side of me, but another part says that I need to keep playing so that I continue my quest to learn how to lose more graciously.

I will keep playing.  There is still the third part of the story that needs to come out, and I like getting to spend time with my brother, even if it is virtually.  Perhaps I need to tape a note to my monitor saying "Deep breaths; it's just a game."  One way or the other, I shouldn't let moronic minds determine my own emotions, or make me stop playing a game that I love.

I have never looked forward to an Easter as much as I have this one.  Unfortunately, that fact alone has shown my addition-like dependence on video games as a means to fill my time.  I found that when not playing multiplayer games with my brother or daughter, I was spending a large amount of time just staring at the computer (Google chat and Steam in particular) just waiting for one of the two of them to get on line.  While I recognized how pathetic this behavior was, it didn't stop me from doing it (thus making it doubly as pathetic).

What made this particularly hard was that the expansion for Star Craft II (my most played game) which I have been waiting for these past two years came out a week and a half ago.  While I've had the opportunity to play the multiplayer with my brother, it's the single player campaign that I have really wanted to see.  Blizzard really knows how to craft a cinematic-like game.  Just the opening scenes demonstrate this ability; I can only imagine how the rest of the game will be.  Well, until tonight.

I currently plan on playing at least the first two missions after mass tonight.  For those who are unaware, Lent (though it officially ends at the Holy Thursday mass) ends at the Easter vigil.  At sunset, 8:30 here at St. Mary's, we have a gorgeous celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus the Christ.  It is also a long mass; I don't expect to be home until around eleven.  And immediately after changing, I plan on spending an hour or so playing a game that focuses on destroying  the other team's forces.

... Like I said, pathetic.