Today is the celebration of the most difficult mystery to understand: the Holy Trinity.  How can God be one God and three Persons at the same time?  People have tried to explain it with musical chords, three-leaf shamrocks, and cherry pie, but no analogy can ever fully explain this idea.  Our understanding will not come until the end of time.

I like having an unsolvable mystery like this one.  It gives us something to always strive for.  We constantly work to better understand ourselves, our world, and our universe.  Without such mysteries we would have nothing to push us forward, no void in our understanding to fill.

The readings highlight the idea that ours is a God who has walked among us.  He doesn't want us to be mindless servants, but to be friends.  He wants us to willingly love Him.  In doing so, we must willingly love one another.  In doing so, we must willingly love ourselves.

Not only did I get in my normal Saturday morning match of tennis in with my father, but Janelle and I also got to go out today and play a variety of games with friends.  While I am a competitive person by nature, I tend to enjoy both of these kinds of outings because the expectation is not so much about winning as it's about exercising (mentally as well as physically) and enjoying other people's company.

Don't get me wrong; I still like to win, but I like myself more when winning is not the all-consuming desire on my part.  I am often a poor loser, but that monster does not show its head as much (not to say that it doesn't come out at all) during these types of games.  I had a good time.

On a related note, the comment was made that the "one who holds the pen (or banker) usually wins."  The suggestion is that the banker has more opportunities to take "embezzle" when it comes to keeping score.  I find that this is true in more aspects of life than just playing games.

This topic was suggested to me by my wife.  From the moment she offered it, I have struggled with my response.  In truth, my perfect day would take a variety of forms depending on circumstances beyond my control (i.e. weather, season, availability of various people, etc.).  With that in mind, I have a number of things that my perfect day might include.

Before examining these items, I wanted to note one item that disturbed me about my perfect day: if I am being honest with myself, I don't have time set aside for God (whether formally at mass or even quietly at prayer) on my list (let alone near the top).  This bothers me for a number of reasons, but the top two are that 1. this brings into question my overall faith and devotion to God 2. I have found myself most content on days when I have at least shared my day in some way with God, yet He doesn't get my automatic consideration for my perfect day.  I put this paragraph at the head of my list to "own up" to this oversight despite my adding prayerful conversation to the top of my list.

Elements of my perfect day:

• A quiet, prayerful conversation with God (preferably in a setting of beauty, not in my car or in the bathroom).
  
• Waking up before anyone else in the house in time to see the sunrise.
  
• Cuddling time with my wife.
  
• "Cuddling time" with my wife (not to be confused with the above item) without any disruptions.
  
• A breakfast of scrambled eggs with melted cheddar cheese, slightly chewy bacon with crisp edges, buttered rye bread toast, and orange juice.  If fruit is present, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, and pineapple slices with a vanilla yogurt dip.  
  
• Hugs from each of my children.
  
• Quiet time and space where I make productive progress on my writings.
  
• A seasonally appropriate outdoor activity with my family (badminton, tennis, volleyball, swimming tag, sledding, snowfort building, baseball, frisbee, hide-and-seek-tag, etc.)
  
• Time with my friends playing games (D&D, Carcassonne, Settlers of Catan, spades, etc.).
  
• Time to make forward progress on a video game.
  
• Watching a great show with a great audience.
  
• A nature outing like hill-climbing, trail walking (hold the insects, please), canoe paddling, etc.
  
• Finishing some project that improves where or how we live.
• Fresh buttered popcorn.
  
• Lunch or dinner meals that include one or more of the following: batter-fried chicken (boneless or not), a bacon cheeseburger with a fried egg, Indian butter chicken with naan bread, a medium to medium well-done steak (fillet), General Tzo's chicken and good fried rice (with BBQ pork), an Italian meatball sandwich, a Monte Cristo sandwich, a loaded baked potato, loaded smashed potatoes, waffle fries with honey mustard dipping sauce, chile cheese fries, Klavon's pizza with bacon and sausage, or La Fuente's arroz con pollo.  
  
• Either the banana split (without the banana) or the hot fudge ice cream cake that I used to be able to get from The Parlour in Jackson.
• Watching the sunset.
• A small bonfire.
• Falling asleep to the sound of a comfortable, steady rain.

These are the items that come to mind at the moment.  I'm certain that there are others.

I am strongly opposed to year-round school.  Most people are under the erroneous supposition that students get summers off from school because public schools are tied to an agrarian calendar, which could not be farther from the truth.  If tied to planting and harvest seasons, students would not have school in the spring and fall.  No, most schools don't run in the summer for one major reason: the heat.

With the growing rise in global temperatures, this has become even more important.  Add to that the fact that class sizes are now in the thirties rather than the twenties, and classrooms are quickly becoming saunas on warmer days.  Now a good deal of schools are now being air-conditioned, but even these are prone to problems, problems only compounded by a frustrating level of bureaucratic nonsense.

Since the beginning of this school year (actually since the second week of school during the school year prior), our building's air-conditioning has not worked well.  We were told, around the time that the heat had to be turned on, that the problem was a couple of missing parts which our maintenance team did not have in their normal inventory.  Because of certain regulations, in order to order the correct parts (let alone install them), the maintenance department needs to receive three different estimates on the parts, those estimates need to go before the school board, be voted on, and then can be ordered.

We have ten school days left in the school year.  The board isn't going to vote on the bids until Monday.  The parts will be ordered on Tuesday and are then supposed to take ten days for delivery.  A problem that we knew about (and sent multiple notifications to maintenance and administration concerning) for at least an entire school year won't be fixed until after the school year is over (if it's even fixed then).

This is not a problem unique to our school system.  Schools in general are being "paperworked" to death.  This is, however, another reason (and not even my top reason) why year-round school is not a good idea.

I stayed home from work today as I have been laid flat by a cold.  In general, I don't like getting sick, but getting sick in warmer temperatures is downright miserable.  Especially today, with the weather being nearly perfect, it is tremendously frustrating to feel this utterly drained.  Despite my prejudice against naps, I think I will be heading for one in just a bit and that's after already sleeping in hours past when I normally wake up during the week.

That said, this illness, despite how tired it has made me, has been fairly mild.  I've been in one of my "cold euphorias" (where despite feeling miserable, I also feel that perfect level of tiredness, almost like a meditative trance) since yesterday morning.  I know that it sounds wrong, but the sweet smell of infection in my sinuses actually brings me a degree of comfort.  This state does make it difficult to concentrate, but perhaps that's part of its pleasure as well.

Still, I would much rather be healthy and hale, and thus more capable of enjoying this amazing day.  I did insist on driving Janelle on her errands, taking Rowen out to a park overfull of children his age, and getting Hinkley doughnuts.  I haven't fully decided about going to choir.  My larger concern is spreading the virus, but I don't know how infectious I am at this point.  I seem to have missed too many practices due to this fear.  It certainly won't stop me from going back to work tomorrow.

May I get better soon.

I'm not a big fan of wearing it, but the color green is certainly my favorite color.  It became my favorite color when I saw the first poster for Return of the Jedi that showed that Luke Skywalker's new lightsaber was green, rather than the blue from his father's lightsaber that was lost in his fight with Darth Vader in the Cloud City of Bespin.  That's right, my favorite color was determined by Star Wars; I'm a geek.

While Luke's lightsaber might have been the inspiration, I quickly developed rationale that further cemented green as my favorite.  To me, green is the color of nature.  The spouting of green leaves and grass is our signal that spring (my favorite season) has come.  Kermit, my favorite muppet, is green and sings of that fact.  Green was often the color worn by our military, which I wanted to join when I was younger.  It is the color used by our stoplights to indicate that it's time to move.  It is the primary color of our currency in the U.S.  It is one of the colors of Christmas.  Currently, it is the color of my winter coat, my computer bag, my Franklin planner (which I no longer use), and my cellphone case (although all of those are more of an olive green rather than the deeper green that I prefer).  It is also the color of ink in which I do most of my grading.

Now, I like other colors (well, yellow and I have our issues) and have no problem with wearing them or having them on the items around me.  For that matter, if one were to take inventory of my clothes, it would be easy to guess that my preferred color is blue (which comes in second).  Still, green, expecially the green of leaves in spring, is my favorite.

Today I was thankful that although it was a national holiday, grocery stores were still open.  As much as it would be nice for everyone to have holidays off, I am glad that there are some people who sacrifice that extra time (usually with the incentive of enhanced pay) so that others can benefit.  I am also quite glad that I am not one of those people anymore.

I've been dealing with a cold the past three days.  Today, I felt the most exhausted of the three.  I'm certainly hoping that I don't feel this way tomorrow.  Especially considering how I feel, I am even more grateful that I am not one of the people who was asked to work today.

Today we remember those who gave the final measure of devotion to our country.  They often fought on foreign fields, were exhausted, and would have preferred to be home.  I am also glad that I am not one of those so chosen, and that there were those who were braver than me whose sacrifice allowed me to have the life that I have chosen.

We have once again come to the birthday celebration of the Church, the day when the Holy Spirit descended upon Jesus's disciples and filled them with power, breath, and energy.  It was an event that drew crowds to them and showed that the Holy Spirit was for all people, no matter their "race" or ethnicity.  I keep wanting something similar in my own life ...

I've heard a number of people talk about hearing God call for them, hearing His voice or feeling His spirit fill them.  For some, they talk about hearing the heavenly choirs and feeling as though a shaft of light from heaven has enveloped them.  I have had no such earth-shattering experience, and as such I tend to distrust those who say that they've had them, more out of envy than doubt.  In truth, sometimes my envy gets the better of me as I sometimes find myself doubting everything.

And then I hear the whisper.  It's not an earthquake, not a lightning strike, not a powerful wind, but the growing warmth of contentment that fills my body with peace.  It is so quiet that I sometimes wonder if I am deluding myself.  But every once and a while something happens that puts those doubts aside.  

Take today for example.  I feel pretty miserable from cold (or cold-like) symptoms that have been growing since yesterday.  The right side of my face from my nose to my cheekbone and ear to the top of my eye feel congested and almost bruised.  I was signed up to be the cantor for today's mass and was concerned that my nose would be running while I was up there and that I would sound stuffed up, but I forgot to take decongestant before I left for church.

I prayed that the Holy Spirit would provide my breath, that I would only be the instrument for God's music.  And that's what happened.  My lungs and voice cleared for the songs that I needed to sing.  I was told that they sounded great.

It's not the first time that this has happened.  When I try to force an experience, from something that I'm singing or writing to even conversations, they don't turn out as well when I open myself for the Holy Spirit's voice.  I can't force myself to open up either.  There isn't a switch.  It is those times that I lose my selfish ambitions and desires, when I allow myself to be filled with love and joy, that I have these experiences.

The Holy Spirit didn't come down just that one time two thousand years ago.  God's presence surrounds us all of the time, just waiting for us to let the Holy Spirit in.

For the past five years, I have been running an adventure for my wife and a few of my friends that is based off of the Dragon Warrior 7 video game.  There are three major challenges in running this campaign: time, porting, and player knowledge.

Like most D&D games that I play now, there are often gaps of months between sessions.  This game in particular has been known to have up to seven month gaps between games, making it a challenge to present the game (which is entirely interconnected) in short enough of chunks to make it so each portion is memorable and does not take too much catching up when we start the next session.

Another major challenge is that we are using the D&D game system to play a Japanese role-playing game that had its own complex (and awesome) system for character advancement.  Like most JRPGs, Dragon Warrior 7 relies on a lot of level grinding (battling over and over again to get experience), fetch quests, and blocking off areas with low (or even non-existent) barriers that would not block people in real life, let alone in a magical world.  This has required a great deal of innovation on my part to stay true to the overall story and world of the video game while still allowing the characters the sense of freedom that pen and paper role-playing is known for.

Probably one of the most difficult challenges is dealing with the fact that three of the players are DMs themselves.  So often, all it takes is a simple description of a creature and  these players automatically know its strengths and weaknesses.  I have to constantly work at keeping the game as fresh and interesting as possible, while still holding to the rules that they know (and know how to exploit).

In the case of today's adventure, that meant creating encounters with creatures that were rare (although one player recognized it right away), or completely made up while still based on more familiar creatures.  It also meant streamlining a great deal of the NPC encounters so that the "fetch quest" aspect of the original material was minimized.  I also had to account for the fact that my players' characters had access to magical transportation (specifically flight) that the video characters don't have.

We still had to spend an hour and a half catching up on the adventure before we could begin, but I believe that everyone had a good time.  I did, which is not always true when I'm DMing as I prefer to play.  But it was hearing that my friends had a good time that made it worth the effort.

I am pretty happy with my life.  All told, I have a blessed existence.  My family, friends, job, home, and pastimes all fill me with joy.  Yet it is part of the human condition to always want more.  Whether these desires are healthy for us or not, we wish for them nonetheless.  Here are a few of mine (not necessarily in the order of importance):

1. To be in a Star Wars movie - especially in a creative capacity.
2. To publish my stories.
3. To own a home on a hill attached to wooded acreage (that I also own).
4. To advise a respected, high-level political official.
5. To have my own den, man-cave, or writing gazebo.
6. To have a greenhouse.
7. To have a hovercar or hoverboard (Thanks, Back to the Future ...)
8. To not worry about money.
9. To be able to travel to other parts of the world.
10. To own a theater (movies and plays).
11. To have an adult obstacle course / playground.
12. To have a home gym.
13. To have a heated pool.
14. To own a house that is nearly off grid for power, water, and air temperature.
15. To have a play / display area for my toy collections.

I don't doubt that I have other selfish desires, but these were the first to come to mind (well ... mostly ...).  

I took the day off of work today to celebrate my twenty-first anniversary with my wife.  Although not a "milestone" anniversary in the traditional sense, I can't help but think of this one as a bit more special than the others around it.  For one, it's the 21st on the 21st.  This is the only time that our anniversary will hold the same number as the day of month on which it rests.  It's these sort of number coincidences that make me want to buy a lotto ticket.

More importantly, this anniversary marks the fact that Janelle and I have been married for more than half of my life.  I actually crossed that tipping point back in October (I believe the 17th), but this has been our first anniversary since that line had been crossed.  For Janelle (since she's nearly a year older than me), her half-her-life anniversary won't be until next year as she doesn't cross the line until later this year this coming September (I believe the 21st).  

For more than half of my life, Janelle and I have been wife and husband.  In that time, we have raised five amazing children; lived in four different apartments, one duplex, my childhood bedroom, my parent's basement, and two houses; collectively worked in nine different jobs; and only been separated for a maximum of six consecutive nights (my upcoming Salt Lake City trip will be our longest separation so far at eight consecutive nights).  We've only had three different Presidents, but we've watched as the Internet has expanded, cell phones became commonplace, and geeks became cool.

All relationships have rocky aspects, and we still occasionally have some grand fights.  Yet the vast majority of our time together has been full of loving contentment.  We complement one another in so many ways, making us better when we are together than when we are apart.  I just hope that the next 21 years don't fly by as fast as these past 21 years have.

Yesterday, when returning to my computer after having tucked my youngest two sons in bed, I felt a strong compulsion to start writing down an idea that has been rattling around my head as of late.  I haven't felt this kind of compulsion for a while, so I decided to put a few of the lines down that I was thinking about.  It wasn't a lot, but it was more than I had done in a while.

I haven't done well with my creative writing this past decade.  Since writing Dragon Hunter, most of my creative endeavors have sparked, but failed to catch fire.  The only exception has been keeping up with this blog on a daily basis.  Two summers ago, I made an attempt to write a play about teachers in a carpool.  Last summer it was Vali's Tale.  This past winter break it was the sitcom screenplay about the cruise ship.  In all cases, I know that I have a good idea, but I allowed myself to stumble for one reason or another.

Perhaps that will be the case for this one as well.  I won't know until I truly give it a chance.  While I plan on this being a "summer" project, I decided to start now.  Too often, I put off things that I know that I should do to fit some arbitrary start date like "the beginning of summer break" or "next month" or "Monday."  As a friend recently reminded me, if I plan on making a positive change in my life, I need to start now, not some nebulous time in the future, not tomorrow, not later, but now.

I already like the title for this one: Dark Side Station.  Like Vali's Tale, I have created a Google Doc for this story that I have allowed anyone to view if they clink on the link embedded in the title of this post or the title in the previous sentence.  I have also put a link on the page with Dark Side Station so that people can still access the story without have to hunt for this post again.  I hope that having this as a "live" document will both help give me incentive to write and let people tell me what is working or worth pursuing and what isn't.

On a side note, I have also started to put together documents that hold all of my previous blog posts.  I have the links to these listed on the side as "Blog Collections."  I find my posts easier to read through on a Google Doc rather than scrolling through the web pages on this blog.  As of this posting, I have not brought the 2015 collection up to date, but I hope to both catch up and then keep adding the blogs month by month.

As always, feel free to let me know your thoughts on my writings, hopefully in a manner that encourages me to write more.

A friend recently told me that her husband only has one brother and that neither of them have any children of her own (she has one from a previous marriage).  A number of my friends either don't have children or only have one child.  Some of my friends have no sons, and some even no boys in the family at all, to pass down their family name.  Some of my friends are the only child of their parents themselves and a few have even married another only child.  

Just in my own circle of friends and acquaintances, I know a large number of families that this generation or the next will be the end of line for their last name, and in some cases for their entire genetic line.  Many others are seeing their families condense in such a way that once-blossoming family trees are now dwindling into twigs.

This is a world-wide phenomenon.  For all of the Malthusian concerns about world over-population, we are now finding entire nations in crisis as their workforces are starting to be overshadowed by the retirement population.  For many countries, the only population growth is coming from immigration (which, ironically, many of their political parties rail against).  In some areas, families are going to extraordinary lengths to continue their family lines, including the kidnapping of brides.  In higher levels of social status, wealth is being concentrated more and more into the hands of fewer and fewer people.  

I believe that there are long-lasting repercussions of this growing trend of dwindling families, some consequences that we are just beginning to feel.  It's a hard balance to make: population control and the consequences of that control.  I don't know what the best course should be.  Hopefully, minds wiser than mine are working on the issue.

My wife noted that my Party for an Enlightened Revolution omitted a major element (or two) that tends to divide our major political parties: the Pro-Life/Pro-Choice debate.  I will also note that the party does not have platform planks dealing with raising taxes, gay rights, balancing the budget, the use of military force, or the decriminalization of various drugs.  While I have some very strong personal opinions on most of these matters (and still take sides on the others), I feel that they are too often non-starters when it comes to creating a viable political party.  I want to explain both my stance on Pro-Life issues and why I don't include it on the Enlightened Revolution's platform.

I am strongly Pro-Life.  I believe that it is an outmoded and unscientific belief that a person's life starts with the first breath.  We now know that a child's brain (starting as a neural cluster) and heart begin to function as early as 18 days after conception.  By 6-7 weeks, the brain has developed into its basic structure and the heart is beating regularly.  As our medical definition of death includes the irreversible end of heart, lung, and brain function, these children are quite alive by scientific and medical standards.  We may in the future learn even more about the development of the human body, mind, and soul that further support my belief that the child should be treated as a child from the moment of conception.

Within the womb, the child is both amazingly resilient and fragile at the same time, capable of surviving immense trauma but also succumbing to the mildest circumstances.   Thus, I am both fully against the practice of killing these children AND the idea of prosecuting the mothers who have lost their children.  The trauma of losing a child is terrible enough without then having to face inquiry and perhaps punishment.  Yet, abortion is an abomination that is the leading cause of death in the U.S., in some years nearly doubling the second largest cause of death (heart disease).  This needs to stop.

My Pro-Life beliefs are not limited to abortion.  I am against euthanasia, suicide (assisted or not), research that involves the destruction of embryos, in vitro fertilization, most birth control, the death penalty, homicide, genocide, and war.  I know that there are sometimes justifications for the death of another human being (especially in defense of one's self or others), but I especially am wary of a government that advocates for the use of death as a policy.  I also feel that all of the above issues lead to an overall devaluing of human life that has had and will have a significant negative impact on our culture.

So why didn't I add a Pro-Life plank to my new party's platform?  Because in 42 years, it has costs hundreds of billions of dollars that could have been better spent in providing social services and support of the children who have been killed during this time.  I believe that the platform of this party is one that people with very different views on Pro-Life/Pro-Choice issues can still support together.  I believe that most people on both sides of the issue are genuinely concerned about the health and well-being of all people.  Both sides are doing what they feel is right against what they feel is a massive social injustice.  Meanwhile, politicians have used both sides of this issue to fund their elections while supporting nearly everything that the Enlightened Revolution stands against.

And so, I take it off the table.  People running under the Party of Enlightened Revolution would have to agree to not take money from interest groups not directly aligned to the party's platform.  They may have a variety of views on these subjects, but these issues should not be the keys to their campaigns (or perhaps a part of their campaign at all).  I know that some people might think this to be naive on my part, but I think that we (as Americans, as humans) have more in common than not.  Yet our politics bog down in our differences and doesn't get the things we know need to be done accomplished.  The Enlightened Revolution is about furthering the progress of humanity, not using hot-button topics for cheap political gain.