I received feedback on my dissertation 40 minutes ago. I'm giving myself two days to try and revise my paper so it has more of a scholarly voice and sounds less like a story. Aside from adding in a few more citations (which I was pretty sure would be requested) and some apparently obligatory tables and/or figures (which I did not think was necessary in a qualitative study), the only comment was that my writing was too entertaining and not dry enough for academic work. I felt that I was being thorough and left emotional aspect out of it, but apparently, dissertations need to be even duller.

I've looked a few other dissertations that have been accepted by Walden, and I don't see much that separates me from them. Hopefully, I can add in a few of those citations, build some almost meaningless (but apparently required) tables and/or figures, and make my writing less entertaining in the next couple of days, and start this cycle of waiting again. 

With temperatures in the high sixties, I worked up quite a sweat while cutting trees today. For me, it was nearly perfect. One of my primary reasons (but not only reason) for moving up to Alaska was due to the climate. I do not do well in hot weather. Even before our previous decade of record-setting temperatures worldwide (not to mention the trends into the future), I found myself feeling sick when outside (particularly with migraines). Thus I was using air conditioning more and more. Teaching in heavily populated classrooms with rising temperatures and subpar air conditioning systems was becoming a serious stressor on my overall health. Looking back on these past five (almost six) years, I am more firmly convinced that I made the correct decision. 

When I look at the news about the the current heat dome over the Pacific Northwest, I can't help but feel a growing concern about our upcoming trip to Michigan during the hottest time of year. I plan on spending one day at Cedar Point, and I'm now hoping that I will be physically up to it temperature-wise. As I think about it, a day or two at Lake Michigan might be a good idea.

For now, I'm enjoying Alaska's cooler-than-normal summer, even if it's leaving businesses with an excess of unsold fans. 

Due to my combination of near-sightedness, far-sightedness, and astigmatism, I have four options when it comes to wearing contact lenses. The first is to abandon the idea entirely and just stick with glasses. However, wearing contacts is not a vanity thing for me (I like how I look in glasses), but was initially a practical consideration. It has since been so nice to have peripheral vision again that I don't really want to give that up.

Unfortunately, the other options have not been great. The one I will probably go with are the multifocal lenses. These have worked really well far away, but not so well up close. I can still read, but it requires a lot of concentration as the letters are both crisp but blurred (like there are multiple images overlapping). The new prescription I was given today works better up close than before, but a little bit worse farther away. I don't know why.

As the multifocal was giving me problems, my doctor gave me a pair of monovision lenses (one eye corrected to near, the other to far) to try for the next few days. At first, it seemed fine as I was able to read clearly and see far away; however, within about an hour I was starting to get a headache. After another hour in, the headache was mutating to a migraine. I took out the lenses and tried the multifocal again, and my headache dissipated. After a couple more hours, I tried the monovision lenses again, and the headache returned in less than half an hour. I believe that the issue might be that my left eye (the one that could see close up) felt like something was clouding it, making everything to the left a blur (which was really distracting with my big nose in the way).

The last option is to get distance vision contacts and having glasses for reading. I tried just reading with my right eye (the one that could see far away) when I had the monovision lenses in, and I couldn't see anything. If that would be the case with a normal prescription, I would much rather have the multifocal lenses so I could at least attempt to see near objects without needing to pull out glasses (which I could still do with the multifocal lenses). 

I think the multifocal lenses are my best option. I just wish that they worked better for me. 

Today's readings dealt with the concept of resurrection. Jesus brings a young girl back to life in today's Gospel Reading, proving that He has power over death itself. I know many people who struggle with the concept of life after death. There are some that believe that it's a comforting lie told to people to overcome their fears of death (or a disquieting lie to get people to behave in the case of hell). 

Perhaps due to my upbringing, I've never doubted in the idea of resurrection, nor do I fear death. I used to worry about death a great deal when I was younger, but oddly, I also was concerned about the time before I was born. The concept my own of non existence would keep me awake at night. At some point, it just was not a concern.

Don't get me wrong. I have no interest in dying, and I'm certainly concerned about pain, but death itself has no sting for me. If I my beliefs are correct, death just leads to another level of existence, one where the mysteries of the universe are explained and Earthly concerns have no hold. If they are not, death would simply be a long rest with no concerns at all.

I look forward to THE Resurrection, when everyone is once again united with all of their loved ones. I feel like it would be the ultimate family reunion, one where I would know everyone's names and their relationship to me as well as how our lives pieced together in the great tapestry. It's certainly not something that I fear.  

I allowed myself to fully sit back and relax today. I spent the day pleasantly focused on a video game (Immortals: Fenyx Rising) that I finally had the time to start playing earlier this week. It's not only sucked me in, but both Connor and Rowen have wanted to sit and watch. In fact, Connor started up the game on his own this evening. I warned him that my playing took precedent; he talked about getting another Nintendo Switch to play it on.

I like taking days like today from time to time, but I still have a lot to do this summer even while I'm waiting for my dissertation to be reviewed. I've established some good habits in terms of exercise, working, play, and time management this summer, so I want to stay on those trends. Hopefully, I will be able to work, play, and relax in a way that forms a healthy balance. 

The MonsterVerse from Legendary Entertainment and Warner Bros. is a guilty pleasure of mine. While none of the four movies made so far are great, I have really enjoyed each one of them, no matter how ridiculous the stories have become. If the goal of these movies was to get me emotionally invested in these monsters … it worked. Sure, I cared about what happened to the people in the films, but it's Godzilla and King Kong who I really care about.

Thus, it was hard to choose a side in this movie. I wanted them both to win … yet I'm also glad that the movie did not leave an ambiguous ending as to which one is dominant. Basically, this is a movie about monsters fighting mixed in with some strange, but still fun, fantasy/science fiction elements that really don't make practical sense, but still fit in this movie.

At some point, I would not mind doing a marathon of these four connected films. It might be too much (which is a reason that I also haven't done a Mission Impossible marathon). Still, they are clearly connecting the stories and characters, even if there is a huge gap between Kong: Skull Island and the movies with Godzilla, and I think it might be worth seeing how they've connected the dots. Maybe next year.

For all of its flaws, I've come to like The Hunger Games series more and more. I think that it has helped that I'm now more distanced from the advertisements and the hype. So much of the publisher's and studio's focus was on romance and action, when the real (and disturbingly true) social commentary is the true power of the series.

Certainly, the world of The Hunger Games seems overly simplified, but then I realized that the story was really not about a post-apocalyptic America, but our world today. The "Capitol" and its citizens then represent us. The districts represent the U.S.'s view of the world (note the wealthy core districts while the other districts are simply seen as places to with resources to exploit). The contestants in the Hunger Games represent the world's militaries (where we send our young men and women with pageantry to areas with vastly different levels of preparation). ​
Even Katniss' character is not so much a heroine, but just a pawn in a ruthless system, first by the Capitol and then by District 13. Both Snow and Coin claim to be doing what is best for the people, but actually care more about power. Katniss is placed between these two political parties who claim to be opposites, but are just using her in their own deadly games.

Anyway, I'm in the mood to watch the whole thing. With my dissertation in review, revise, repeat phase, I figured that I can set up a showing. I was thinking Wednesday, July 7--from about 10 AM to 7:40 PM. These times and date are not set in stone, but seems like a likely candidate. 

The tentative schedule:
10:00 AM - 12:20 PM     The Hunger Games (2h 20m)
12:30 PM - 3:00 PM         The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2h 26m)
3:05 PM - 5:10 PM         The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2h 3m)
5:20 PM - 7:40 PM         The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 (2h 17m)

At my eye doctor's recommendation, I've been wearing the sample multifocal contacts every day. Unfortunately, they do not focus well on objects that are closer than I can hold at the length of my arm. This was the case from the start, but my doctor said that I should continue to wear them while waiting for the new prescription to get used to taking them in and out, wearing them, and focusing my eyes at the distances that are clear. 

This is leading to the odd sensation of reversing my eyesight when I'm not wearing glasses. Normally, everything up to the end of my outstretched arm is in fairly good (although not perfect) focus, and everything beyond that gets fuzzier and fuzzier. Once I put in my contacts, I am suddenly able to see clearly at a distance, but things get fuzzier as I get closer to them. This reversing phenomena continues to disorient me every morning when I put the contacts in and every evening when I take them out again. If I concentrate, I can still read items that are close up with the contacts, but the process strains my eyes and brain after a while. 

I have an appointment next week to try out the new prescription. I really hope it works out. I'm excited to have both near and far vision again.

I finished my first draft of my dissertation at about 2AM. Currently, I'm pretty happy with it. I feel that I followed the template, guides, and rubric to the best of my ability; however, we will see what my committee chair says in his review of it in the next week. From here on out, that will be the primary state of things: my committee will send me recommendations and I will send them revisions until they are satisfied. 

When we reach that point, my chair sends it to the University Research Reviewer (URR) who will likely ask for my supporting information (questionnaire responses, transcripts, and code book) which is not included in the actual dissertation to make certain that I conducted my research properly and ethically. Again, I will be sent any requests for changes and will need to revise and resubmit (first to my committee again, and later to the URR when my committee agrees that I met the URR's requests). Note that this paper currently has 101 pages of actual writing on the topic (and will likely have more by the end) with an additional 65 pages of appendices, references, title pages, abstract, and table of contents. Anyone from the university is allowed up to 10 business days to review and send me suggestions every time I send them a draft.

Once the study is approved, we then repeat the process with what is called a Form and Style review. I am fairly confident that I should pass that quickly; however, I will also need to present a defense of my dissertation before a university panel (that at least includes my committee and the URR) on a group call (not even a video conference). Again, I'm less concerned about my presentation than I am the paper itself. 

Only after all of that will it go to the Chief Academic Officer (CAO) for final approval. It is possible that the CAO will require more changes before approval, but it is unlikely. With CAO approval, I will receive my degree and have my study published. 

My chair was quite impressed with what I have completed in the two weeks since our last meeting (when I was still analyzing my data). He is confident that we should be through the first couple of phases of the review process by August and that I be Dr. Marks before the end of the year.

I'm on a marathon session to get a full draft of my dissertation completed before I go to bed. I will likely be up into the early morning to accomplish this, bringing back memories of college papers of old. I already know that this will not be the final draft, but I'm feeling pretty good about both what I have written so far and my plans for these last few sections.

I'm going to get back to them now.

While the newly created federal holiday had its official recognition yesterday because the holiday fell on a Saturday, today is the actual day that has been used to commemorate the end of slavery for many people, starting in Texas, since 1866. While I feel that the name is a bit strange, I certainly believe that it is a holiday worth having, and I can't help but wonder why it took over 150 years to create a national holiday for the end of de jure slavery in America.

Although the creation of the national holiday of Juneteenth is deserved, it is alone not enough to redress the issues of racism and racial disparity in our society. I have been frustrated with the amount of racist posts that I have seen from people in this past week. Certainly, they aren't as blatantly racist as some things that I have heard in the past, but they are the kind of wink-and-a-nod racism that some people seem to think is socially defensible.

The worst are those who are attempting a sort of double-speak by saying that movements like the BLM are creating racial hatred and animosity that did not exist before. Somehow, these brainwashed sheep have taken the phrase "children are not born racist" and twisted it to mean that teaching children about racism is what causes racism. The logical fallacy in such an idea should be obvious, but these are the same people that have come to believe every lie that is thrown at them. 

Still, I believe that we are making positive progress. In this, my cynical optimism shows itself again. I truly believe that the world is becoming a better and better place, even if there are people foolishly trying to stop it from doing so.

 Despite the cheerful prediction on my weather report for the day, the sun hardly poked out from the clouds today to say "hi." Because of this, I was more chilled today than I expected. With the high only getting into the low 60s and the sunlight not coming in through our massive windows, our entire house has been cooler than I'm used to for this time of year. In fact, not that long ago, I heard my boiler kick in to pump some heat into our bedrooms. 

Unfortunately, it looks like this will be the case for the next couple of days as we have scattered showers in our forecast. I'm not going to complain about the rain, as it will hopefully reduce the fire danger and lift our current burn ban. However, it would be nice to see the sun in al of its glory on the solstice. 

Although I have not gotten quite as far on my doctoral dissertation as I had hoped to by now, I managed to pass the 100 page mark yesterday. Currently, it stands at 132 pages. To be clear, quite a few pages belong to the references pages, the multiple appendices, the table of contents, and a few formatting pages that I have yet to fill out (such as the abstract). That said, it felt good to see my page count cross into that third digit.

This is not the most that I have ever written on a single work. That prize still goes to my novel, Dragon Hunter, which weighs in at 290 pages. For that matter, each year I write well over 200 pages worth of blog entries like this one. As I've done this for nearly eight years, that means I've written over 1,500 pages of what could be considered a memoir. Considering that this doctoral study has been in the making for three years come Sunday, this dissertation has actually been a rather slow pace of writing for me.

I suppose that the difference is not only the amount of research and detail required for a dissertation, but also the lengthy scrutiny by multiple experts--not to mention the multiple exchanges and revisions required--that have made this paper such a monumental task. Indeed, even if I get a completed draft sent out by my next meeting with my committee chair on Tuesday, the review process will likely take me through the summer, and perhaps through the fall before my dissertation is approved. There's quite a ways still to go.

Still, passing a hundred pages isn't nothing.​