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My Own Bigotry

2/29/2020

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It is painful to look into one's own failings, to examine one's self and find something ugly sitting within. Worse still is the realization that, not only is that ugliness within, but there is little chance of it ever leaving. In my case, I've been confronting this within me for the past week as I've been reading the world classic Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe.

I've known about this novel for quite a while, but this was my first time reading it. I'm not certain what I expected. I heard that it was an answer to Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness and so I thought that it would be something more directly connected to that story, but it was not.

It is the story of a powerful man in a village within what would later become Nigeria. The story takes place around 1890, when Britain and other European nations were rapidly spreading their imperial mandates around the world and, in particular, across the African continent. The plot follows his daily life, showing the time before imperialism, and then watches things fall apart as missionaries and governmental powers from England come to his and the surrounding villages.

Instead of sympathizing with this man and the destruction of his culture and way of life, I found myself hoping for his downfall and cheering on the missionaries (especially the first one). I know that I am supposed to respect other cultures, but the one described in the book was one of misogyny, cruelty, and violence. The "hero" regularly beat his wives and children, crazy people could come and take children away, twins were killed at birth, and children were murdered for the crimes of their parents.

I definitely had more sympathy for the missionaries who were trying to end such barbaric practices than I did for Okonkwo and his attempts to keep things as they had always been before. I have not been able to stop myself from judging that character and his culture as inferior and hateful. I would not want to live in it, nor subject anyone else to living in it.

In this, I find myself intolerant.
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Elements of Gamification

2/28/2020

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Today, I found myself talking about my doctoral study on gamification (using elements of video games in non-game situations). As a part of the conversation, I was asked if I use gamification in my own classroom. I immediately referenced the "leaderboards" and "badges" that I use in my classroom. Neither of them use technology beyond paper, markers, and our grade tracking system, but they are elements of gamification nonetheless.

As I've since thought about it, I incorporate another element of gamification in how I current run my classroom: freedom of failure. By this, I mean that students can fail assignments in my class and still end up with an A. Students can always do additional work in order to get the grade they want to attain. Part of the reason that this works is that I also include another element of gamification: multiple pathways to success. Students who are not doing well in one element of the class have multiple avenues that they can choose to demonstrate the skills and understanding.

Ultimately, I would like to bring in the elements of storytelling and empowerment, where students create avatars whose narratives are constructed by the choices that they make in class. I have a pseudo version of this in my AP class where the students create "civilizations" that are in competition with one another--the most successful groups get to stay together while the less successful ones are split apart and build new civilizations. I've had to focus more on building content this year, so I haven't had the time to really flesh these "bells and whistles," but I look forward to adding them in the years to come.
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A Quick Date

2/27/2020

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Janelle and I had the opportunity to have a few quiet moments at Whistle Hill's restaurant (our first time there) in a modified train car that we had all too ourselves. We only had a bit less than an hour due to our "taxi service" duties, but it was nice to have a little bit of no-kids time. As we sat across from each other talking, I couldn't help but think how much I love her and how I lucky I am to have her as my life-long partner.

First of all, she's gorgeous. She says she doesn't think so, but I know she's being a bit coy. Over the years, her beauty has matured into something quite spectacular. Better still, she has a natural beauty that does not need "enhancement." I will not embarrass her here by being explicit, but she is quite the sexy woman.

I also love talking with her. While we share many common interests, our opinions differ enough that our conversations are thought-provoking. She brings points-of-view and examples that I might not know or consider to our discussions. Although we sometimes have arguments, most of our talks are soothing to me.

Most importantly, she puts up with me. I am not a low-maintenance person. It has been mentioned a few times that I can drive a person to distraction. Even though I clearly test her patience, she still is willing to be around me and be a rock of encouragement and love.

We need to go on more of these dates.
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Lent 2020

2/26/2020

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Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. It was the Lent of 2014 that I first started writing my daily blog (my blog before had been much more irregular). While the anniversary is technically on March 5th, I tend to think about it on Ash Wednesday (which moves around the calendar). Of the various Lenten things I have chosen to do (or not do) over the years, this blog has been the most consistent and successful.

I have no such successful design on this year's Lent. In fact, I've been wavering about what I want to do beyond the limiting on my time on Facebook. I've come up with multiple options, but many of them (most of them) seemed doomed to be broken within a week or two. Ultimately, I would like to choose something that, like my blog, continue on even after Lent is over.

I think that I need to pray about this some more.
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Projects

2/25/2020

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As much as I love my house, there are a number of projects around it that still need to be done, and a few that I would just like to do. The most pressing concern is getting a new leach field (and possibly septic system) to avoid the overload problems that we've had to deal with year after year. It's clear that this needs to be done this summer. Also this summer, we should get someone (because it won't be me) to repaint the edges of the roof.

Another item on the list is new flooring. There areas in greatest need are Janelle's art studio and the boy's hallway with the downstairs hallway coming in third and then pretty much the rest of the house. In a similar rating of importance are window coverings for the living room (I still can't believe that the previous owners took the curtain rods). For that matter, we will need to replace the windows themselves at some point. This is especially true for the ground floor rooms which should have egress ability. Meanwhile, Janelle REALLY wants to change out the sinks and vanity in our bathroom. I would also like screen/storm doors for our entrances to provide breeze in the summer and another layer of insulation in the winter. In that general area, we also want to put in an outdoor light for our door. On a separate note, we could use more shelving in our pantry room.

In the larger "wish" category, I would really like to finish the attic space of our house into a loft area for our living room. This is a much more complicated project that would involve a great deal of planning and work, but it's one that I like to daydream about often. I would also like to find a way to have a ground floor bathroom that doesn't require walking through our bedroom to get to it.

I better stop now as this list has just kept growing as I've thought about it.
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Little Women [caution: snarkiness]

2/24/2020

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As the movie was well rated, and I wanted to read the book before seeing the movie when it comes to DVD, I decided to finally read this classic novel by Louisa May Alcott. Before reading it, the only things that I really knew about it is that it was one of the first classics that Janelle had read and that Joey, from Friends, had Rachel put it in the freezer because Beth was about to die. I was expecting it to be along the lines of Jane Austen's works (which Janelle also convinced me to read).

I am not a fan.

I find the book to be an interesting look at life in New England at around the time of the Civil War (which surprisingly has very little influence on the events other than the father's brush with pneumonia). The book starts with the girls discussing their "poverty," which showed a bit of its almost aristocratic background as the family was so poor that they could only afford the one servant. Those aristocratic leanings last throughout the story with one of the women going on a trip to Europe and rubbing elbows with celebrities of the time, yet each chapter encapsulated some moral lesson that showed the little women where the true pleasures in life could be found--often indicating that those pleasures were not in wealth (as long as one was already wealthy enough to not have to worry about making a living).

Still, I can understand the book's appeal. The women all find true love in their lives (except for unfortunate, dead Beth) and live a life full of happiness (although Meg was clearly a bit envious of Jo and Amy's massive houses near the end). Meanwhile, each chapter provides a specific lesson that the women learn about life and become true ladies. It's a nice bit of fantasy with some direct Christian teachings from a narrator who is certainly not afraid to let her own opinions be heard.

I still want to see the movie.
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The Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

2/23/2020

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In today's Gospel, Jesus famously tells us to love our enemies and "turn the other cheek" when struck. As our pastor pointed out in today's homily, this does not mean that Jesus was calling us to be complete pacificists. Rather, Jesus was warning us about the dangers of retaliation.

This is an area where I need some work. For me, it is not as much of a concern about physical attacks than it is word warfare. This is particularly true in the online arena. It is difficult for me not to respond when someone mocks me or one of my beliefs. However, retaliations usually do not lead to anywhere good, even if they feel good in the moment.

Although it is still important to fight for the causes that are worth fighting for, it is just as important to not use evil as a way to counter evil. Otherwise, we become what we wish to defeat. In doing so, we lose the justice behind our causes, making it better if we had never fought at all.

We can't make the world better by acting worse.
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My Morning

2/22/2020

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I woke this morning with a vivid, disturbing dream coloring my mind. While I went back to bed, the dream kept intruding, making my last attempts at sleep not as restful as I would like. Unfortunately, I did not get out soon enough to see Janelle off to work. In fact, it was the sound of our door closing that finally got me out of bed; although she did not see me waving to her as she pulled out of the garage.

While that was not the best start to my day, it turned for the better. Just as I was finishing breakfast, my dogs started barking. Thinking that we had a moose in the yard (they've not been around for a while), I went to the window and instead saw our neighbor plowing yesterday's snowfall off our driveway. I would have gone out to thank him, but I was still, as yet undressed. By the time I finished my morning ablutions, he was already gone.

Between our neighbor's kindness and the fact that I successfully pushed myself to exercise this morning, my day headed in a better direction than I thought based off of its start. By day's end, I got the trash done, picked up dog food, cleaned the bathrooms, applied for this year's PFD, and filled out my FAFSA. That's not a bad day for such a shaky start.
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Dangerous Roads

2/21/2020

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My prayers go to the souls of the married couple who died near our crossroad with the highway today and with their family. Today's couple inches of snow seemed like nothing compared to the larger amounts we've had recently, but driving was still quite difficult and often deceptively slippery. While the area near our crossroad was made a bit safer due to the middle lane and wider shoulders that they added a little over a year ago, those improvements are easily countered when the road is covered in snow and ice.

As it involved a fatality, the accident closed down the highway entirely four over four hours with traffic diverted to a nearby parallel road one lane at a time. Thankfully, I was able to call the school just before the boys' bus left so that they weren't left at their bus stop while I was stuck on the other side of the accident. It still took over an hour and a half of being in the car to pick them up and bring them home.

Meanwhile, the same road closed several times in multiple places these past few days due to accidents, unsafe conditions, and controlled avalanches. It again reminds me how fragile our single lifeline is that connects us to the rest of the state. It also impresses on me the fact that nature can quite often dominate over the plans of humankind.

I had conversations with a few students who were planning on driving through the pass this evening for one reason or another. Clearly, I have no control over what they do, but I impressed upon them the need to weigh the value of their trip with the risks as well as the importance of driving cautiously in such conditions. May St. Christopher intercede with God to guide all travelers so that they might safely arrive at their destinations.
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Feeling Oogie

2/20/2020

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My blood sugar is running too high again. This wasn't much of a surprise to me because, although I haven't gained weight in the past six months, my eating habits have been worse and I haven't been exercising as much. Following a check-up on Friday, my new doctor (four doctors in four years at Central Peninsula Health--five in five in Alaska) made a change in my metformin dosage and timing, something that always sets my system out of whack.

It's taking me a while to adjust to the change. In the past, dosage changes (either up or down) usually affect me for about a week before subsiding. Aside from the bathroom fun that it creates, I also have to deal with a drop in overall energy and a rise in queasiness. It takes a concerted effort on my part to keep a cheerful appearance and not take out my discomfort on those around me. Sometimes, I overreach in compensation, adding a touch of embarrassment and awkwardness to my symptoms.

After returning from tonight's school district budget meeting, all I wanted to do was go to bed. Instead, I headed outside with the boys to do some snow fort building (in the dark--Connor had a headlamp, the rest of us used the light from the house). In truth, they built snow forts and I tried to take a hike on the snow piles that follow my driveway's perimeter (Note: I can sink really far down in some places). I made it most of the way around, but there were a couple of tall piles that just would not support me (Rowen made certain that I knew he had no problem). I also received a snowball to the face in a surprise attack from Connor. I certainly got more exercise as I then chased him around the driveway and dumped him headlong into one of those big, soft piles.

I wish I could say that I feel better physically due to the outside exertions, but that oogie, lethargic feeling is still with me. I still have a few days for that to improve. However, I think it did some good for my mental and emotional well-being.
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Cry Havoc!

2/19/2020

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My dogs are not the best at coming when someone calls if the two of them are out of confinement together. For this reason, we built the fenced dog yard, but even that seems too confining for the amount of speed that these dogs can reach. Taking them for a walk (or even my top speed run) does not come close to the pace that they want to go. Likely due to their husky heritage, our dogs can cover an impressive distance in a short period of time with almost effortless movement.

Unfortunately, this also makes them flight risks. When let loose (either by accident or design), they immediately bolt for the neighbor's yard across the street, and then next door, and then back the other way. On a couple of occasions, it has taken a LONG time to get them to come back (much to the chagrin of some of our house/dog sitters).

However, I feel guilty not giving them the opportunity to really stretch their legs. I also want to be able to play out in the yard with them without worrying about them bothering someone else or getting hit by a car. The electric border idea is one that we have discussed but dismissed for a number of reasons.

So, I've started loading my pocket with treats and letting them out. While they still tend to bolt down the drive initially, they have been coming back more quickly and have been much more responsive to my calls. I'm hoping that this will continue to work and improve their behavior while outside.

They've certainly enjoyed the freedom.
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Wireless Earbuds

2/18/2020

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I don't use earbuds all that often, as I simply do not listen to a lot of audio from my phone. The exceptions to this are when I'm cleaning the cabin or doing yard work like shoveling or mowing the lawn (I can listen to music or podcasts with lawn mowing due to how quiet my electric lawnmower runs). Still, the trouble with dealing with the cords has often made me forgo using them even then.

The reason that I hadn't switch to wireless earbuds is because they seemed prohibitively expense (especially AirPods), particularly for something that I wouldn't use all that often. Recently, Connor decided to spend some of his Christmas money on a set of wireless earbuds that were on sale for half-off. I was initially sceptical about their quality, considering that they were only $15. However, after seeing how effective Connor's iLive wireless earbuds have worked out for him, I decided that I would get a pair of my own.

Unfortunately, by the time I made the decision, they were already back up to $30, which--although still inexpensive--was more than I wanted to pay for a short-time use gadget. Also, I wanted the one step up from Connor's which advertises that it is waterproof. Thankfully, they went back on sale this past week, and I picked up a pair.

Today, I tested them while shoveling. I only had a bit to shovel thanks to a friend who plowed us out, but with the heavy, wet snow, it still took about half an hour. I have to admit that I was quite pleased. Not only were there no cord tangling issues, but these earbuds fit much more comfortably in my ears. I don't know how well they will do in the long term, but I'm surprised at how satisfied I am with them at the moment.
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Winter Weather Advisory

2/17/2020

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Once again, winter weather is coming our way with little warning. Sure, the forecast had been for a chance of snow tonight and tomorrow, but the weather prognosticators often have a chance of snow in our forecast, especially when the temperatures approaching the freezing mark (whether from above or below). However, I was surprised to find a winter weather advisory on my phone's weather app (as I'm trying to avoid social media but instinctively look at my phone, the weather app is my go-to "I might as well check this" app).

Now they're predicting an inch or so of ice rain, followed by three to nine inches of snow, with the majority of the precipitation falling between 3 am and noon. Back in Michigan, this would have me doing a snow dance in the hope of a day off of school. Here in Alaska, I'm going to try to get moving earlier to deal with the probable travel delays in the morning.

I'm still going to wear a snow sweater tomorrow. I want to make my allegiance to snow clear (especially in opposition to ice rain). That said, considering the veracity of our recent weather reports, we might just get a dusting.
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The Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

2/16/2020

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Today's Gospel contains the beginning to Jesus' most famous Sermon on the Mount.  As was pointed out in today's homily, Jesus did not come to change the laws that had been set by the prophets and sages who had come before.  Rather, He came to tell us that salvation is beyond law; it is something that is gained through loving God, loving each other, and loving all of creation that was given to us.  

Today's Gospel reading shows that Jesus was looking for more than a codified religion.  He is looking for people to change their hearts.  So many people in His time (and in ours) hide behind laws and practices; they stick to the letter of the law so they can find loopholes that allow them to live how they want to live.  Jesus makes it clear that there are no loopholes--that the spirit of His teachings are more important than the letters used to describe them.

As out pastor pointed out, if laws led to salvation, all we would need is enough laws and we would have a perfect society.  However, we know that this is untrue.  While we should work to ensure that the laws of our temporal world are as fair, just, and merciful as we can make them, we are still flawed creatures--both as makers of our laws and followers of them.  We must work to change ourselves, to better our world as we live in it, and to spread love and forgiveness with or without the laws to support us.
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