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I Would Never [controversial]

1/31/2019

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There have been a large number of posts on my feed lately that have used the phrase "I would never ..." followed by an action or concept that the person does not support. A similar, and parallel, structure is found in posts that contain wording such as "I don't understand how someone could ...". These phrases allow the writers (or speakers) to feel a degree of superiority over those they have judged unworthy of mercy or compassion. I feel that making (or possibly believing in) such remarks not only puts a wall between us and understanding, but it can actually lead to a the writer (or speaker) being more unprepared to deal with a similar situation when it arises.

Allow me to use a specific example, and I warn you that it might cause some to take offence. I am unapologetically pro-life. You can look to earlier posts of mine to see my reasoning for this stance. However, my feed has recently been filled with comments in reference to the new law in New York that allows abortions up to the baby's birthday [sometimes termed fetus's due date]. A number of these comments have said something such as "I would never even think of having an abortion" or "I don't understand how anyone could kill their baby just before it was due." To be frank, these comments ignore the humanity of the situation. They do not allow for an examination of the circumstances, or a full exploration of the details in question. Instead, they lock the people who say them in a static state that does not allow for evidence, understanding, compassion, or mercy.

The truth is all humans are broken creatures. We do not know what will happen to us when put into a specific situation. By claiming "I would never" we try to convince ourselves that we are somehow superior to other human beings who have been tested in ways that we have not. We pass judgment without knowing all of the evidence because we do not wish to tempt the chance that we might actually change our minds if we knew more about the actual circumstances.

I remember when one of the staunchest pro-life people I have ever known discovered that her daughter had been raped, and more so, that a pregnancy resulted. The concept of having an abortion was brought up and advocated by this same person. When the threat was to some unknown woman, it was easy to take a hard-lined stand, but in the face of it being this parent's daughter, the choice was not so easy. By having relied on "I would never," this person was entirely unprepared for truly facing such a painful and difficult decision which would have repercussions throughout the lives of everyone involved.

I've seen this with other "I would nevers" over the course of my life. I would never steal. I would never do drugs. I would never have an affair. I would never hurt my children. I would never commit suicide. By not examining the flawed human nature within themselves, but rather hiding behind platitudes, not only did these people not face the possibility of what they hoped to avoid happening to them, but they had trapped themselves because they felt they could not go to anyone for help ... because most of those they knew had said "I would never" too.

We, humans, are all too eager to judge. Perhaps we believe that by judging others, we somehow divert attention from our own faults (or worse, we manage to convince ourselves that those faults do not exist). If we truly wish to make our world a better place, we need to be willing to truly examine ourselves. Maybe then, we could have open and honest conversations with one another. Maybe then, we could start to find better solutions to our problems.

I don't understand how someone wouldn't want to make the world better.
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Scaredy Dogs

1/30/2019

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Our dogs often act like the timid puppies that they used to be. Starbuck, in particular, is terrified of being outside when the temperature is above freezing and there's still snow on the roof. As we have metal roofs, that's when the snow slides off into massive piles. The dog yard has a couple of those landing zones, but still plenty of space well away from them for the dogs to play.

Where does she sit whining? Right under one of the landing zones. Her whines are quite urgent; the first few times I thought she was caught in something. Instead, she was standing with her paws on the window sill, looking into our arctic entryway and wagging her tail.

Today, we purchased a water "fountain" to replace our pet water dish. We think that our cat (Satin), who's around eighteen years old, has been having difficulty drinking normally. She's been increasingly splashing the water with her paws, and I once caught her licking her paw immediately after doing so. Our hope is that this fountain will make it easier for her to tell where the water is and to be able to drink it.

The dogs were quite curious when I brought in the box. They sniffed it excitedly with tails wagging. Their curiosity continued while I put it together and filled it. That ended the moment I plugged it in. They immediately ran to the other end of the room. Since then, River has approached it cautiously to stare at it intensely.

Thankfully, Satin drank from it with no problem.
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Living in a Depression

1/29/2019

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I love our house. It’s weird and full of quirks which makes it a perfect fit for us. Unfortunately, it also sits in a bit of a valley. Our backyard is the bottom portion of a hill. Thankfully, the rest of our yard is even lower, so snowmelt and rain head away from the house.

This does, however, cause a few problems. One of the difficulties is that the spring thaw tends to overload our leach field and septic system. This has caused a great deal of wailing and gnashing of teeth.

We just discovered another problem today. Now, our Internet is better than many people’s in our area. Still, it can be a bit uncooperative, especially when the ground is wet. We recently found out that our area is supposed to have access to the new FiWi system through Alaska communications. This system transmits via towers and dishes at speeds about five times greater than what we currently can access on our best days (and for the same price that we are currently paying). Sadly, the workers who stopped by today informed us that our house and those down the road from us are too low to make line-of-site to any of the towers and thus cannot establish a connection.

It was nice to think of faster, more stable Internet access, even for a little while. However, now I do feel rather depressed.
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Educational Funding

1/28/2019

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This past week, Alaska's Senate sent out a poll which asked a variety of questions on multiple subjects. One of them dealt with funding for education. Overwhelmingly, the largest response was that Alaska is not spending enough on education. Today, the governor laid out his proposed budget which included--wait for it--cuts to the promised educational budget for this year. It's not like the original promise was that great to begin with ...

Most people agree that teachers are currently underpaid. Most people agree that class sizes should be smaller. Most people agree that we have been cutting too many elective programs (auto mechanics, art, music, etc.). Most people agree that they want our schools to be safer. Most people agree that more nurses and school psychiatrists are needed in our schools.

Why, then, is it that politicians keep cutting educational budgets? Teachers, administrators, and staff have been expected to do more and more without sufficient funding for far too long. Considering the importance of an educated populace for the functioning of a democratic republic, I feel we can reasonably conclude that those looking to cut funding for education are unpatriotic. ​
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Third Sunday in Ordinary Time

1/27/2019

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A good portion of today's homily was about the differences in the style, audience, and tone of the four Gospel writers. Luke's version of the events shows us a relatable Jesus, one who goes amongst the sick and outcasts and brings healing and peace. In today's Gospel, He has returned to Nazareth to begin his ministry. He goes to the synagogue, where the ordinary people would worship, to read and interpret scripture to them. In doing so, He tells them that the times they were waiting for had finally come.

It's been nearly two thousand years since that day, and in many ways people are still waiting for the coming of a messiah. We often fail to recognize that He is here with us today. We do not need to look farther than the outcast and marginalized around us to see His face. He has already come in fulfillment of the ancient prophecies, and He tasks us with joining Him in making our world a better place.
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First Man

1/26/2019

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For as long as I can remember, I've been enamored with the space program. Alan Shepard, Gus Grissom, John Glenn, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Jim Lovell were names that I knew and people whom I idolized from a very young age. These explorers and the hundreds of thousands of people who worked behind the scenes brought us closer to the science fiction future that I have often dreamed about.

Thus, I enjoyed the movie. I feel that the attention to detail was amazing and the actors really captured their historical counterparts. Among the most powerful moments was the tragedy of Apollo 1, which this movie brought home in a way that nothing had for me before.

Still, this movie is not for everyone. While Connor, who has talked about wanting to be a astronaut, stayed focused on it throughout, the other boys were not as entranced. As a movie, Apollo 13 still stands as the most accessible and moving of the films I've seen that deal with the space program. What this movie does is make us have a deeper understanding of the humanity involved in the Apollo program.

It also reminds me that we have a great deal more exploring to do. We have more progress that still needs to be made. I would like to see humanity push towards those goals.
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Fairbanks

1/25/2019

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It's been nearly 23 years since I last set foot in Fairbanks. That streak will come to an end in about a month and a half. I'm taking Trevor, the boys, and Katrina up for a weekend while Katrina is here helping out since Janelle will be on her adventure down under. Trevor has a college visit scheduled at UAF, my alma mater. While he's on his tours, I hoped to visit some places on campus with Katrina and the boys, including spending some time at the museum.

From everything I've heard, the city has changed quite a bit. I was thinking of taking another day to explore around there. As it will be in March, I'm not quite certain what will be worth our time seeing, but I am really curious to see how the city has grown and changed.

Just planning the trip feels strange. I don't know anyone who lives up there now. I doubt that any professors or staff from my time at UAF will still be up there, or that I would recognize them if they are. Even the buildings will be different, yet I'm hoping I will have some sort connection to the place where so many major events in my life took place.

It will be an interesting trip.
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Bumps in the Night

1/24/2019

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Janelle and I both remember waking up last night to loud sounds, but while Janelle's startle came at around midnight, mine was at 4:30 am.

In my case, it sounded like something had crashed in the house. Immediately, I thought we were in the middle of another earthquake. However, I didn't notice any residual rocking. My second thought was that one of my children had fallen out of bed. As I didn't hear any crying or further movement, I then wondered if the cat had knocked something over in the art room. Remembering that the art room is locked up at night, I then decided that one of my Star Wars ships must have disconnected from the fishing line that keeps them hanging from the ceiling. Too tired to investigate, I went back to sleep.

Later, after letting the dogs out, I noticed how skittish they were and remembered that they get that way when they're afraid of snow falling from the roof. I realized that it was a falling snow pile that must have hit the ground on the side of our house near our bedroom. I eventually checked as I was leaving for work and confirmed that most of the snow had fallen at some point in the night.

When I mentioned my theory (before confirming it) to Janelle before leaving for work, she said that she thought it sounded more like gunshots when she woke up. It wasn't until this evening that we discovered we woke up for different events at different times. In her case, one of our neighbors was lighting fireworks for some reason. They did so again tonight.

I will say that these strange sounds made for some strange dreams.
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January Rain

1/23/2019

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Although it might make for a great band name, January rain is one of my least favorite types of rain. Rain on icy roads is not much fun in the morning (or any time for day for that matter). Meanwhile, the rain melts down the snow piles, making everything goopy and dingy. Unfortunately, with temperatures up in the forties this morning, rain was precisely what we got.

According to the forecast, the rain will be staying with us this week. Worse still, it looks like we’re going to dip back into the sub zero range right after the rainy weather without any snow accumulation in between to soften the blow. At least the sun is peaking over the horizon more frequently. The combination even gave me a rainbow at the bus stop as an apology.
Picture
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Perspectives [controversial]

1/22/2019

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When I first saw the picture of the young man and the Native drummer facing off with young men surrounding the scene, I was initially upset. Then I watched the video attached without sound--as I rarely watch videos on my phone with sound, and I was not quite as certain that what I saw was as bad as my first impression. In fact, as I had seen multiple posts naming the young man in question, I wondered what exactly he did to get such condemnation. Sure, he had a smug expression on his face, but I also saw a bit of fear in his eyes as well. Meanwhile, I did not see him take any action to block the drummer or menace him in any way. Then I watched the video with sound and noticed the boys around were mocking the song the Native drummer was singing (although I did not hear any chants of "Build the wall" as on of the articles mentioned).

I then saw a more extended video that showed the African American group begin taunting the group of boys and then the Native drummer moving between two hostile groups that were chanting and taunting one another. In this, it did not seem like the drummer was aiming for the boy, but that the boy simply didn't move out of the way like others did. At this point the other boys, who had made a move back started moving in on the Native drummer and his companions and mocking the chant he was singing.

There were a number of people in the wrong in this situation, and one of them was me. As far as I can tell, the incident was replete with snap judgments. I believe African Americans assumed that that the young men, wearing MAGA hats, were there to counterprotest the gathering they had planned. The Native drummer assumed something similar and put himself into a spot between the hostile groups. The youth assumed that the Native drummer was challenging him specifically and stood his ground. People online made snap judgments and began doxing the youth and his school. Like nearly everyone involved in this situation, I made a snap judgment based on the initial picture I saw and several articles that popped up soon afterwards.

Even now, I don't believe that I know or will ever know the entire story, but I know that these snap judgments of mine are becoming entirely too common as of late. I feel that there were a lot of ways that this situation could have gone better, but then we would have never heard about it or had these sorts of discussions. I also know that the situation could have been much worse with a much more violent ending.

We need to start examining our snap judgments and make certain that we aren't seeing just what we want to see (or fear to see). It would be nice if we had more help from the media and our politicians in this regard.
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Crazy Rich

1/21/2019

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At the recommendation of several people, we decided to watch the recent romantic comedy Crazy Rich Asians. It was enjoyable, if not on the same level as You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, French Kiss, or even The Holiday. Still, it's the best new rom-com (which is one of Janelle and my favorite genres to watch together) in at least a decade. The boys were less impressed, with only Connor watching it all the way through.

The characters were certainly crazy rich. Not just rich, crazy rich, taking everything to lavish heights (sometimes literally). Yet so many of their lives were somehow less than the lives of many people whom I know. Almost all of the wealthy characters seemed trapped by the wealth, bored with it, or trying to get away from it.

While I have often had daydreams about earning millions of dollars with my writing (which would require me to write) or through some other spot of luck, I actually feel that such a windfall would cause more problems than it would solve. Certainly, I've thought that it would be nice to have that kind of money so that I "wouldn't have to worry about money again." However, it's been my observation that the exact opposite seems to happen: the more money one has, the more one worries about it.

I'm reminded of a quote which I saw recently (although I can't remember who said it): It is foolish to fall in love with money because money will always leave you for someone else.
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Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

1/20/2019

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Today's Gospel deals with the Wedding at Cana where Jesus, at his mother's request, turns water into wine to save the bride and groom embarrassment at such a special event. Thus, Jesus' first public miracle takes something ordinary and makes it into something incredible. Certainly, this is a metaphor for what He does in all of our lives.

How do we bring this miracle into our lives? As our priest said in his homily today, we need to follow Mary's instruction to the servers regarding Jesus: "Do whatever he tells you." Jesus has given us instructions to follow. In following Him, He will turn our ordinary lives into something extraordinary.
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Christmas Tree Is Packed

1/19/2019

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Although I keep up our decorative lights until daylight savings (at least), most of our other Christmas decorations have been packed up and put away. With the ornaments off, I finally took down the tree, boxed it, and put it in our storage shed. While it was nicer to put the tree on the top ledge in our living room, this new one is "frosted" with globe lights and would really look out-of-place.

We took down the manger scene last week as it was the end of the Christmas season. However, we replaced it with our snowy village set which will stay as long as the lights do. Especially in these dark months, it's comforting to have these lights and decorations as a way to brighten our lives.
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The Orville - Season One

1/18/2019

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I probably would never have watched this show if it wasn't for the recommendations on the Catholic Geeks Facebook page that I follow, but I'm glad I did. To be clear, it is not a great show, nor is it for everyone. However, I personally enjoyed watching the first season and I look forward to what future seasons might offer.

The show is a love-letter to 80s and early 90s Star Trek. Rather than a parity--which I expected--the series tells Star Trek-like stories with "real," flawed people. It keeps the optimism of Star Trek while throwing in more sophomoric humor, but it did so in a way that I did not find offensive, degrading, or insulting. The characters are true to themselves and build interesting relationships with one another.

Still, it is also a bit cheesy, and sometimes downright preachy (like the original Star Trek often was). It feels like Seth MacFarlane himself wanted to be a captain of a Star Trek like starship and used his influence at Fox to make that dream come true. Honestly, I would want to do the same thing were I in his place. I'm just grateful that he let us come along on the journey.
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