Already the third month of 2015 has come to end.  We are already a quarter of the way through the year.  Thus far I've made it about a third of the way through my resolution goals with more progress this month than during February.  Here are some of the high points:

• We received our tax return money (and actually put some aside).
• We bought a Wii U and have spent nearly every day playing it together in some combination as a family (especially Mario Kart 8).
• Katrina went to Ireland and had a great time, even stating that she would like to move there.
• Alex spent her spring break here.  Considering that she's staying in Houghton for most of the summer, I gave up a good deal of sleep so that I could spend more time with her.
• I upgraded my computer's motherboard and processor and now enjoy lag-free StarCraft II.
• I was able to have a GNOME (Guy's Night Of Monster Evisceration) not just once, but twice this month.
• We watched the Grand Budapest Hotel at my father's enthusiastic request (a movie best watched with Alex present).
• The boys and I watched Spaceballs (it's been decades; Janelle HATES that movie).
• Alex purchased Civilization V for Janelle and I.  Trevor got a copy, but didn't get the version with the extra content (which is no longer on sale).
• My student teacher now has "control" of my four World History classes.
• I'm at my lowest weight in a decade.

It hasn't been an incredibly special month, but it has been a good month nonetheless.  With a spring break coming, I hope to get something more substantial done in some type of creative endeavor this next month.  Stay tuned.

I love playing video games, as is no surprise to others, and thus I've played a large number of games while my children have been around.  I fully expected them to develop a desire to play video games.  I did not, however, expect them to become addicted to watching other people play video games.  Yet that's exactly what has happened.

For my eldest daughter, watching other people play video games (sometimes called "Let's Play" due to an early video channel that specialized in this type of show) is her primary form of entertainment.  Almost any time that we see her relaxing, she is either playing a video game (usually one she saw on a "Let's Play") or more likely watching someone else play a video game.  These videos are usually pretty entertaining, as you not only get the entertainment from the game itself, but also get to listen to the rather amusing banter of the people playing it as well.  The really good commentators are actually more entertaining than the games that they are playing.  For that matter, the great commentators can make even watching them play through a terrible game a downright hilarious experience.

I thought that this trend would end with my eldest child as my second child was not quite as enthused with the idea.  That thought ended once my son started watching video upon video of people playing StarCraft II.  I guess that this is more than just a fad.

I've watched a few videos, especially with the idea of improving my performance in StarCraft II, but the passion that some of my children have for this sort of view has eluded me.  In the end, I would much rather play the game on my own than watch someone else, no matter how entertaining, play it for me.

Holy week begins today.  Our long journey of Lent is nearly over and the time for celebration is at hand.  First, however, it is time to reflect on the full magnitude of Jesus's sacrifice for us.  There are many people who give up their lives for the lives of others, but only Jesus, the perfect sacrifice, did so without any blame, did so for the good of all humanity.

This Sunday is always a long service.  There is more ritual involved.  The incense comes out, the sprinkling rite is started again, and the Gospel is the longest of the year.  Only Easter Vigil has a longer service.  It sometimes tests my endurance.  Today, my hip and back had been aching since I awoke, and standing for the long Gospel didn't help either one.  But I love these celebrations anyway.  They show me the depth of Christ's love for us.  They revive in me the desire to be a better person in order to be worthy of that love.

I don't recommend having young children watch the movie "The Passion" or even to watch it annually as some people do, but I do recommend watching it at least once while keeping yourself open to what God is telling you.  Realizing that all of those trials were out of love for you is quite an experience.  Although I believe the film overly focused on the violence of the events and not enough on the divine elements of them, the story of the Passion itself, the story retold in today's mass, is the greatest story ever told.

Janelle and I took our family to a reconciliation service at our church yesterday.  It is recommended that everyone go to reconciliation at least twice a year, once during Advent and once during Lent, in preparation for major feast-day cycles.  While I am reluctant to admit that I dread going to confession every time beforehand, I happily admit that I always find myself more content after having gone.  Often, these services have the best sermons.  A little over a year ago, a great sermon was given at the reconciliation service before Christmas.  I don't remember what that one was about, but both my mother and I commented how we had wished that more of the family had a chance to hear it (as we were the only two to go that time). 

This most recent homily was also quite special.  Its focus was my favorite topic in Christianity: God's love and forgiveness.  Father Chaz, who gave the sermon, reminded me that God is always there, ready to love us.  Any barriers that keep us from feeling his presence are ones that we put up ourselves, ones that the devil encourages us to keep up, to believe that God doesn't or can't love us (or that He's not even there).  Yet our lives are full of examples of his love on a daily, even hourly, basis.

I also had the fortune of having Father Chaz hear my confession.  He greeted me by asking, "Are you ready to have a squeaky-clean soul?"  That's what it feels like after having confessed.  I believe that the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation is not so much for God's benefit as it is for ours.  While we still have earthly responsibilities for our actions, God frees us from the spiritual debt of our sins.  It makes me feel lighter and refreshed.  Granted, it doesn't take long for me to bring stain to my soul again (often by yelling at, lusting after, or judging others), but God is always there.  Knowing that I'm not perfect, He loves me for all of my faults and sees my soul as worth cleaning time and again.

For the past couple of weeks, my toe (which had lost most of its nail due to getting squashed by a rocking chair) has been swollen and sore.  The right side of the nail had just grown back, but it was digging spurs into the side of my toe as it grew.  These got infected, the infection swelled up the toe, and the swelling popped the newly healed nail up a little bit at a time, causing it to get even more infected and swollen.  

Clipping off the newly detached right side of the nail brought some relief, but the raw skin beneath was extremely sensitive.  Due to the bandages I used, a lot of the skin in the area retained extra water and sloughed off, making the area around the nail even more tender.  At one point, the skin at the bottom end of the nail puffed up.  When I pressed on it, puss oozed out from what was left of my nail.

These past weeks have found me coating the region in neosporin in the morning and soaking my foot in hot water and epsom salts in the evening.  It wasn't until I clipped a portion of the left side (and found another spur growing there) that my toe has started to improve at all.  I hardly even noticed it today, but it still looks like quite a mess.

I just want it to look and feel normal again.

The past few weeks have been good weeks for me.  I'm still behind on my sleep, but the tiredness has been worth it.  We've been playing more games as a family.  Nearly every night, Janelle, I, and a couple of our children have been playing Mario Kart 8.  Sometimes there's a lot of yelling, but there's also a good deal of laughter as well.  Meanwhile, Alex and I have been playing games (specifically Borderlands 2 tonight) online.  Just getting to hear her voice, even when destroying our enemies, is reward itself.

My job has been going fairly well, too.  While there are always frustrations, there have been several high points as well.  I had a number of students comment on how entertained they were by my antics at the dodgeball game.  I also have received several compliments about the professional development session that a colleague and I provided last Friday.  Today, I had at least one moment in every class that I taught that I had my students almost completely absorbed in what I was saying, and even had a number of good discussions based off of those moments both during and after class.

All in all, life is good.

I think I have a better understanding of why fathers tend to intimidate their daughters' boyfriends.  At first, I thought it was just for the entertainment value.  Seriously, scaring the crap out of a young man often by seeming to know what they are thinking (like it's that hard to guess) is truly hours upon hours of fun.  Lately, though, I think that the ritual might actually border more on instinct than tradition or simply enjoyment.

We fathers want to size up the man that may be our daughter's future husband.  A boyfriend who is in no way intimidated by the father is one who has no respect for his girlfriend's family, which can suggest that he has no respect for his girlfriend either.  A boyfriend who is too entirely intimidated is not strong enough to protect that father's daughter from the many dangerous things that the world has to offer.  Fathers are looking for a man who is respectful, but not fearful, who is mature (or immature) enough to talk with the father about items of common interest, but not the false fawning that shows a lack of will.

My relationship with my own in-laws was a bit rocky because we didn't get to meet until the wedding.  They had only my wife's word for what kind of a person I was, and as a father I know how unreliable the opinion of a love-sick daughter can be in this area.  For that matter, I don't think that I've ever really made a great impression with them as they usually only see me when I'm in my "vacation mode."

I know that I need to be more accepting of my daughters' choices, but I'm acting on a primal level.  I need to know that my daughters will be with a person who respects my daughters and our family, that these boyfriends can be depended upon should times get tough, and that they won't lead my daughters down paths that diminish them as persons.  I have yet to be truly impressed.

In the mean time, I think that I'll keep having my fun.

I've already mentioned that the number of instructional hours does not equate to better learning and emphasized the need for schools to be places of beauty.  A third major improvement needed for our children's education is to reduce the number of subjects that they need to deal with over any period of time.  Public education is one of the only places where a person's mind is expected to switch from subject to subject and retain knowledge from each one in a seven hour chunk of time.  It is not educationally reasonable to have a person switch from English to Science to Health to Social Studies to Math to Band with only a few minutes of rush-hour-like-traffic passing-time to adjust.  That our students succeed in such an environment is absolutely amazing.  No wonder so many students tune out; it's a mechanism for self-defense.

Schools that have switched to trimesters and block scheduling are closer to the idea, but they still hold to the terrible notion that students need to be in organized, regimented learning sessions for the entire school day.  Music, art, exercise, games, and socializing activities that allow students to find an outlet for their pent-up energy is a must to help students reestablish a mental balance.  Students also need opportunities to study, investigate, and work as groups outside of the traditional classroom.

To those who say that this kind of school would not prepare students for the real world, I wish to remind them that the MOST successful businesses allow for exactly this type of break and relaxation as a part of their work days and work weeks.  Those companies that don't provide such mental breaks have lower employee satisfaction and higher employee turn-over even if they provide higher pay.  We need to take best practices into account in all areas of our society.  Saying that we need to prepare students for a harsh reality by making their lives miserable makes less sense to me than making our students happier and more successful and using those enlightened people to make the entire world a better place.

I've been post-dating a lot of my blog entries lately, so I thought that I'd say a few words about this practice. 

I write the words "post-dated for ..." as a way to keep myself honest.  You see, part of the deal that I made with myself regarding this blog is that I would attempt to write a post every day, and if I didn't manage to do so I would "own up" to that failure rather than simply not posting.  I know that it is possible to change the date for my posts so that it looks like they were posted on the correct date, but that feels too much like cheating my original deal.  

Generally, I tend to post-date when the events of my life just make posting too difficult on any given evening.  Days when we are not at home or in contact with the Internet are obvious examples, but I also find myself post-dating when I'm really tired and just want to go to bed. Unfortunately, I have found myself relying on this fall-back more frequently now that my student teacher is running a couple of my classes (and thus I know that I will have time the following day to get my posts done).  It's a bad habit that I would like to break, especially since my late evenings are usually due to playing video games (sometimes with other people, sometimes on my own) which again makes me wonder whether my father is correct about their negative effect on my life.

I'm not going to beat myself up too much over this.  For over a year, I've been writing a post for every day, and that, I feel, is quite an accomplishment itself.  I'd like to do better, and will endeavor to do so, but post-dated entries will not disappear.

I haven't been doing my nightly exercises (not a euphemism) these past few evenings.  I blame most of it on the new and exciting adventures with my toe nail as well as how tired I've been this past week, but the truth is that I'm a rather lazy person.  I know that I need to exercise regularly if I want to lose weight (especially in the belly), lower my blood pressure, reduce the pressure on my back, fit in my clothes better, and (most importantly) not feel embarrassed with my shirt off.

My current routine takes about twenty minutes a day, and I don't do it on Sundays (for a day of rest) and Wednesdays (because of how late I get home and because of the aforementioned laziness).  I have extended the routine a bit every month so that by the summer I should be up to the recommended half hour of exercise for five times a week.  ... It's just so easy to not do it.

This (3 months) is about the point that I have stopped most of my exercise routines for one reason or another.  I've gone through this pattern time and time again.  Part of the issue is that I hit a low weight recently and my mind uses that as a justification to stop rather than to keep going.  Part of the issue is that since hitting that low weight and continuing to do the exercise with no real increase in my eating habits, my weight went up.  Even though I know that stopping my exercises will only make that issue worse, my lazy brain is looking for any excuse and "it's not really doing any good anyway," even if it directly contracts the "you've already lost so much weight," tends to be one of my mind's favorite ways to avoid anything that seems like work.

Well, my toe hurts, I'm tired, and it's late, but I'm going to run the routine and hopefully gain a little bit of ground in building a good habit.

I'm still in my classroom after a day of leading professional development for my colleagues.  I will be here at the school for a number of hours still before I can go home.  Last week, I was selected (by students dumping change into a jar in my room) to be part of a nine teacher dodgeball team.  This team will play against the team of nine students who has defeated all of the other student teams in today's dodgeball competition.

The biggest downside is the wait.  I live too far from school for it to be practical to drive home and then back.  Normally, I take these sorts of opportunities to have dinner at Red Robin, but it's Lent and a Friday, so that wouldn't have the normal joy.  Instead, I packed a couple of extra peanut butter and jam sandwiches, an extra piece of fruit, and some carrots for my evening meal.  I've been done with the PD since 3PM and the tournament doesn't start until 6PM.

I haven't played dodgeball in decades and, although I have had day-dreams of demonstrating amazing physical prowess in this competition, am not in the best of shape.  I've told the students that I only have two goals for this event: 1. to survive (and do so unscathed) and 2. to have fun.  I had also planned on being as goofy as possible on the court, but it turns out that some of the other members of my team are extremely competitive.  I did feel a little better after talking to "Captain" Czaja (the art teacher who raised the most amount of money) as she didn't seem to know some of the basic rules of dodgeball (although I don't completely trust her expressed lack of knowledge as she gets enjoyment from making people think she is clueless).  One way or the other, at least she seems to be going into this with the idea of having fun.

My biggest concern is that I will give a poor showing and let the students down.  Especially considering that I'm staying here for all of this extra time, I want this to have been worth everyone's while.  With that in mind, my other unannounced goal is to at least not get tagged out of the game in the first salvo.

I'm looking forward to it. 

[edit - we lost ... badly, but the audience seemed to enjoy our antics during our 2 minute warm-up.  I did make it past the first salvo, but not much past it.  All-in-all, it was a fun event.]

Today is the feast day for Jesus's adoptive father.  With St. Patrick's day usually sharing the week, Joseph so often gets overlooked.  Actually, that's true for most of the year anyway.  The only time that we really hear about him is in the weeks leading up to and following the Nativity.  Mary, in the meantime, gets quite a bit of press (as she should).

Part of the reason is that we don't know much about the man.  He was a carpenter, which at that time was more of a catch-all term for any sort of construction.  He was pious.  He took care of his family, even fleeing his home and becoming a refugee in a foreign land.  And by the time Jesus entered His ministry, he was gone, presumably dead.

As a teacher, I know that a great deal about parents can be learned by interacting with their children.  Thus, we know some of Joseph because of what we know about Jesus.  For that reason, I like to think of Joseph as a kind and caring man who demonstrated for Jesus how to treat other people, how to avoid judgement, and how to be forthright and sincere.

Whatever kind of father he was, we know that Jesus turned out better than any earthly father could have expected.  I like to think that the two of them hang out in heaven, enjoying each other's company while talking about the future that is being built.

I am a flawed man.  There are things that I have done that I am not proud of, goals that I have not reached, and areas of my life where I know that I can improve.  I'm not that great of a person, friend, husband, or father.  Yet, I feel that when I am judged in the life to come, I can at least defend with conviction that I love my children.

They are my life.  I would do anything for them.  In return, they have brought me a joy more intense than I could have ever imagined, greater than any description I could possibly provide.  The thought of never having met them or of losing them is more than I can bear.  

As a parent,  I get to continually see the world anew.  Experiences, achievements, desires, and dreams are all rejuvenated through the lives of my children.  I revel in their triumphs, and share in their pains.

Those who have not had children, even those who have only had one, cannot truly understand.  Just as I can never understand those people who have brought their children to harm.  My children are a part of my very being.  

While I remember when each of them were born, it is as though I have known each of them for my entire life.  I can't imagine my life without them.  They make me wish and pray that I can be a better person.