However, as time has gone on, I have come to realize just how true what Yoda was trying to say is.
Life has been good to me, but it has been turbulent. Janelle and I have struggled through many rough patches financially--frequently blessed with the help of friends and family. For years we were on the border of bankruptcy and seriously considered taking that route. Even working two-plus jobs at the same time, putting in a regular 60+ hours of "on-ground" time for nearly a decade, had us still holding on by our fingernails for a while.
However, things have been good for us now for a while. The irony is that I am now more afraid of losing what we have. Take Scarlet, my ATV, for example. Ever since the evening we bought her, I have been concerned that she will get stolen. This was a concern that did not rest in my mind at all before. My doctoral study is another example. I'm so close to completion that I'm continually nervous that something is going to mess it all up and that I will need to start over (again). In this case, it hasn't helped that I have yet to receive a single response to the questionnaire I sent out--my nerves are on the frayed edge, well beyond and concerns I had about my path before. Yet a third area is my job. The looming shadow of our district's financial woes due to the massive drop in enrollment this year has me worried about whether I will be able to continue teaching the students and classes that I love.
These are natural concerns, but Yoda is correct: the fear of loss is a type of jealousy, leading to frustration and even anger. I have to learn to let go of my worry about those things that I cannot control. My fear of losing what I have should not dominate my thoughts and keep me from enjoying the present moment.
After all, life is good, filled with beauty, wonder, and blessings everywhere I turn. What I have, I have only because of God's grace. I should relish what is good in the moment and be willing to let go those things which God will remove as part of His plan.
It's easier said than done, but I can already feel a weight lift while going down this line of thought.