There's a chance that I've gotten a little carried away now that I'm finally playing Dungeons and Dragons again. Almost immediately, I ordered three supplementary rule books (Xanathar's Guide to Everything, The Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide, and Tasha's Cauldron of Everything) to go with the Fifth Edition Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master's Guide, and Monster's Manual that had been largely just collecting dust on my shelves for these past years. However, I may have really gone over the edge when I ordered a custom figurine from Hero's Forge.

Vohnkar, my character, is unique. While I have halfling figures that could manage as place-holders for him, I wanted something ... better. Thus, I spent a while designing my kilt-wearing halfling barbarian. I had to make a few compromises, and even if it was a bit pricey for a single small figure, I'm quite happy with the result. 

I put in the order at the end of April and have been checking its progress (as well as admiring the online model) nearly every day. Thankfully, it arrived half a week before the projected date, and I was able to finally hold the completed figurine today. I am impressed with its overall detail and quality.

Now I just have to wait a week and a half for our next game session. 

Today's homily pointed out that Jesus is continually calling on us to rise above the concerns of the world. Certainly, Jesus rises from the dead, but in today's first reading from the Acts of the Apostles and also mentioned in the Gospel of Mark, He literally rises up from the Earth. So too do we need to rise from the difficulties and beyond even the pleasures presented by this world. 

There is nothing that we can amass in this world that will last. No layers of protection, no amount of savings, no level of investments will keep us from facing death. Only Jesus provides for us a means, a vehicle, for passing that ultimate boundary. All that it requires is the simple, yet so difficult, request to release our Earthly desires and follow Him. 

This means setting our sights high indeed. He asks us to rise above our selfishness, above our hatreds, above our jealousies, and even above our desires for contentment in this world. It was fitting that this was the message delivered today as our graduates were also recognized at this morning's mass. As they look to their future, they too need to rise above the snares of our world and strive for the heavens.

I found the homily quite uplifting.

We spent a couple of hours this afternoon picking up trash along the side of the highway near our city's landfill. We only made it a short distance, but filled up four giant trash bags in the two hours that Rowen and I were there. Janelle and Connor were there as well for the first forty minutes--where we made considerably more progress before they had to head out for their hair appointments.

Just being near a landfill means that the area will have a lot of trash as stuff might get blown out or carried out by birds. The trash that bothered me the most was the stuff that was clearly tossed out of a passing car. The blatant lack of respect for our community and environment infuriates me. 

Number one on the list are people who toss out cigarette butts. They are a pain to pick up and they are everywhere. As far as total numbers are concerned, they were clearly the most frequently found piece of litter along the highway. What is already a disgusting and deadly habit is made even more diabolical due to the littering that tends to go with it (not to mention the times that they have caused wildfires).

Oddly, the second most common piece of litter were Diet Pepsi cans. While there were a couple of other types of soda and beer cans that we found, for some reason there were 13 Diet Pepsi cans on the short strip that we cleaned. Is there some reason that particular brand is so often tossed out of car windows?

The only other item of note is an old sock that I came across. As I recently finished reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets to Rowen, I picked it up and used my Dobby voice to yell out, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!"

Rowen thought that I was hilarious.

Today, our Internet has been running ridiculously slow, clocking in at only 1.5 MPS for downloads. This has been a bit of a problem for my web-based applications such as my blog-editor and my transcription app. Interestingly, we were still able to stream a show from Netflix without a problem. 

Unfortunately, we have limited options when it comes to Internet service in our area. Despite the new FiWi towers in our area, we live in a depression (physical, not emotional) that keeps us from the line-of-sight needed to receive those signals. That leaves our current copper-wire DSL, spotty satellite (we are in a poor location for that as well), or cellular hot-spots (which is significantly more expensive for a system that throttles usage too quickly). 

Generally, we don't have too much of an issue. The boys seem to be able stream their own devices separately while I'm still able to get work done. However, there can also be days like today when the whole thing seems to slow down without an apparent reason. Sometimes, it turns out that one or more of our devices was going through an automatic update. Sometimes, it seems to slow down when the ground is too wet. However, sometimes the slowdown seems to be completely random.

I need to be careful not to complain too much as I know many other people in the area have even worse connections. Still, in our current, interconnected age, our Internet infrastructure needs to be better. Hopefully, we will see improvements soon. 

My father turned 75 years old today. As I was thinking about writing a post about him, the draft in my head almost started to sound like a eulogy. However, as I thought more about it, I realized that it is so often the case that we wait until after someone has died before we tell other people how much that person meant to us. Perhaps it is better to say these things now rather than to later stand at a podium and lament that "I never told him that …"

And so, with decades still before him, I want to say that I love my father deeply. We have not always gotten along, and we certainly have differing opinions on a variety of topics, but he has always been there to support me … even in endeavors which he might not care for. He does not give his support blindly, but he also offers advice and suggestions to help guide me. 

My father is one of the strongest men I know. Now, I know that this is a common claim from sons about their fathers, but I know this to be true of mine. While I am referring to physical strength, I also mean the strength of his mind and character. He has been a dependable rock for me throughout my life, no less so now that he has hit the three quarters of a century mark.

While there are many traits that I took from my father, one of the biggest ones is his goal-setting. He has goals for nearly everything, and I have learned to do the same. Although I do not have all of them written out to the degree that he does, I have been able to use this lesson throughout my life to help balance the many responsibilities that I have.

I have taken on his humor. I have been told by my students that they can never quite tell when I am joking or serious, and that is something that I learned from the master. Like him, I seem to be content in finding the humor in any situation even if others aren't seeing it. 

I have also inherited his penchant for story-telling. I particularly remember his time in Toast-Masters as he practiced his speeches with us. I have long been in awe of his resonant voice and have actively worked to try to develop my own in imitation of his. 

Well, this should have already publicly embarrassed him enough for one birthday. 

​I love you, Dad.

Today, Liz Cheney was ousted from her Republican leadership position because she refused to goose step to the drum that Trump has been beating. The Big Lie--that the 2020 Presidential election was somehow rigged or tampered with to make it so Biden won--is currently believed by approximately 70% of Republican voters, according to multiple polls. I wish I could say that I find this unbelievable, but after four years of listening to Trump supporters swallow or justify the lies from the most dishonest President in modern history (and this is an era that included Nixon), I am rarely surprised by the utter stupidity of the new Republican party. 

You have to be pretty dumb to believe that a national election was rigged when:
1. At the time of the election, the Republican party (who is claiming the election was rigged) was in charge of the Executive branch, the majority of the Judicial branch, and half of the Legislative branch of the Federal Government.
2. The same Republican Party held (and holds) legislative control over the four "battleground" states of Michigan, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona. To clarify for those who might still believe that there was election fraud, and thus clearly have difficulty understanding simple concepts: the Party who had the ability to stop election fraud was in charge of the elections in the places that it claims election fraud took place.
3. There is NO evidence of fraud despite multiple investigations by every credible agency that has examined the election, and not a single court case has found evidence of election fraud.

Ousting Cheney is not a big loss as far as I'm concerned since she voted more with the Trump agenda than many of the Republicans who called for her removal. However, it certainly shows that the Republican Party has now gone completely fascist--devoted to a single leader (Trump) at the expense of any other political platform. Literally, the Republican Party has no planks in its platform other than "Support Trump" (based on the last Republican convention; go ahead and look it up).

Tomorrow, a new political party will be officially founded by a group of Republican leaders who have dared to denounce Trump. We may be seeing a historic shift in next year's election due to the self-destructive course that so many Trump-loving Republicans have embraced. One thing is clear from today: the Republican Party that I used to support is no more.

In truth, I'm a bit of a "momma's boy." I love my parents dearly. Even though we do not agree on all things and likely question each other's choices from time to time, our love carries us beyond and through that. For almost ten years in Michigan, my family lived within five miles of my parents' house. At one point, we were in negotiation to move only a few houses down from them. During the summer, my father and I would spend many of our mornings playing tennis. Meanwhile, all year round we would spend Sunday mornings with them at church and then go out with them for lunch.

As necessary as I feel that moving to Alaska was, I knew that it would be hard on me and my parents. Thus, I started the practice of calling them nearly every day. On the weekdays, I call on my way in to work. On Saturdays, I call in the morning--often on my Saturday errands. On Sundays, I call after church. Sometimes I have to leave a message because they are out and about (which has been less frequent this past year due to Covid). Sometimes we end up talking more than once in the day.

These talks are quite grounding for me--they help to settle me amidst the turmoil of the world. We often talk about big events that are coming up, or major happenings in our nation and world, but will just as often simply talk about the past day or even the weather. As we talk, I can fairly vividly picture their side of the conversation which usually takes place in the house where I grew up.

I deeply appreciate these daily calls. I feel that they have bound the three of us even closer despite the physical distance between us. I look forward to talking to them tomorrow. 

Well, clearly I wasn't meant to write about that topic today. Previously, the issue with losing posts was that I had gotten into the habit of writing my blog entry directly into Facebook and then copying it over. The process required one fewer step than doing it the other way. However, after two dropped posts this year, I returned to writing directly into my blog first. Unfortunately, as a web application, it can also crash. Normally, it saves most or all of what I have written, but that was not the case today. Thus, over half an hour of writing and revising is gone as my browser decided to reset just as I was about to post it.

It looks like I will need to go back to the really old-school method, and start typing these up in a word-processor application before copying them over. 

Our second reading and Gospel, both written by John the Apostle, focused on the concept that God is love. This is an unconditional love that is waiting for us to accept. Although this love transcends human understanding, it can certainly be compared to the love of a mother for her child. This is a love that is formed before our birth and that continues despite anything that we might do. 

We are asked to hold that same sort of love for one another. No matter our disagreements, we are called to hold a love for one another that is always there for the asking, continually ready to help and aid. I struggle with this, for it means that I need to seek understanding and hold out love for even people who otherwise stand fiercely against so many of my beliefs. How, for example, do I continue to love those who toss aside concern for our fellow human beings for the sake of their own selfishness and power?

God's reply is that we allow His love to strengthen ours. I have little room to point out the faults of others when my own stand out so glaringly. Am I not seeking my own selfishness and power if I ask God to forgive my transgressions, but deny forgiveness to others?

This burden is so easy and so difficult at the same time.  

​I like using character voices and accents when playing D&D as a way to differentiate between my personal snarky response and my character's. Unfortunately, I am horribly inconsistent with my use of voices and accents. In particular, my accents seem to wander as I use them, as in the accent might start slightly Scottish and then end up as vaguely Russian (as was the case today). As I'm playing a fantasy character, I can just claim that the accent is the accent from the fantasy region that my character is from, but that doesn't stop me from getting frustrated with the process. 

It is particularly bothersome that I can hear it the way I want to say it in my head, but feel it go wrong the moment the words come out of my mouth. This means that the tone of the message that I'm trying to get for my character say comes off quite differently than I intended. Thus, my character sometimes comes out differently than I envisioned.

Still, as the entire game is meant to be in good fun, these horrendous accents can be a source of humor in and of themselves. It's having fun that really matters. 

What follows is a portion of my DM's introduction to our campaign (which starts tomorrow), followed by my (slightly edited) response:

From the DM:
At one point or another, ... you found [yourself] within the boundaries of the empire. You were ... approached by a high-ranking imperial officer. According to him, you had caught his eye and showed “promise.” Generally, non-humans are not selected, but exceptions are made each year. You can decide for [yourself] what this officer saw in you. He explained that he was an officer at the Kharnith Officer Training School, known more commonly as “The Academy.” This Academy is located in sar-Rhyon, a royal city whose inhabitants are mainly high-ranking government personnel and wealthy landholders. After the officer explained all of the benefits of successfully graduating – riches, power and influence, pursuits tailored to your interests and skills – you ... accept. This is the last thing you remember before waking up in a field with tall grass, hills, and large rock formations. Next to you, you find a letter which reads,

“There are 400 of you in this field. Please narrow this number down to 200 using any means. The test will begin when you hear the canon fire. A second shot will occur when there are only 200 left standing. Good luck.”

 You ... managed to not get knocked out or killed, and you can decide how your character behaved during this test. ...

From me: 
Ok,
 
The Hunger Games 400, or just "200" as Zach Synder would call it:
 
Vohnkar awoke in the tall grass utterly disoriented and rather hungry. Cursing the officer who clearly did not understand that "Go **** yourself" was not a form of agreement, he noticed the letter sitting on his pack in front of him. Physically incapable of reading, Vohnkar was at least able to determine that whatever was written on the paper was in the common tongue and was not a map. 
 
Entirely unsure of his surroundings as the grass was well above his head, Vohnkar was startled by the sound of a cannon. With no other guidance, he decided to head in that direction while chewing on some of the jerky he always kept on his person. 
 
It did not take long before he came across the first of the lesser 399. He barely had time to react when the ruffian charged him. Six unpleasant seconds later, Vohnkar was searching through the unconscious--if bloody--body. Not finding any food of note, Vohnkar was concerned to find a letter in a similar form to his. He was lightly slapping awake his attacker when a second bruiser entered the small clearing made by the first disappointing combat. 
 
Vohnkar tried yelling, "What--the ****--does this say?" while holding up the letter, but this man only smiled and started swinging his greataxe (clearly a family heirloom) in Vohnkar's direction. Six frustrating seconds later, Vohnkar was chagrined to find yet another letter, and another disappointing lack of provisions, with the exception of a skin of ale that tasted like warm piss. 
 
It was only after two similar encounters that Vohnkar was able to rouse the first of his unconscious attackers. One of them had even managed to wound him by taking him by surprise before taking a restful, if heavily bruised, nap. Once awakened, the original ruffian, Boryon, was quite forthcoming about the contents of the letter because one of Vohnkar's hatchets was resting uncomfortably close to Boryon's chances of future procreation. Interestingly Boryon, and the other three attackers--once they came to--seemed amicable to Vohnkar's suggestion that they work together as an alternative to him just killing them then and there. 
 
With the help of their height, Vohnkar chose a hill that was both defensible and gave a solid vantage point of the area. Foraging a bit on the way, they added a couple of other people to their band--the only death occurred in the process due to an axe-ident with one particularly frothy individual.
 
Finally arriving at their vantage point, Vohnkar set to work cooking up a meal to settle his now ravenous appetite. Sharing with the half-dozen, he snacked while watching the festivities below. On a couple of occasions, Vohnkar and a few of the healthier others (as they were still nursing their wounds) would intervene on behalf of another "applicant" who clearly did not intend to willingly join the slaughter. Fending off the occasional optimist, Vohnkar and his group continued to give people the chance to join or die, growing to about three dozen men and women from a variety of races by the time the second cannon blast sounded.

Yesterday, I held my final interview and closed down the questionnaire to my study on gamification. I have seven of those interviews left to transcribe, at which point I will begin my preliminary analysis. Once that is completed, I can send that out for data verification from my participants. While waiting for that, I will begin my second round of coding the data. Once all of that is in place, I should be able to write up my results and add in my analysis, limitations, and suggestions for future research.

After that point, it will just be a matter of making the recommended changes for it to pass through my committee, the university research reviewer, and finally the chief academic officer. From there, I will need to defend my dissertation and then hopefully publish it. At that point, I will have earned my degree as a Doctor of Educational Technology. I would really like to be at that point by August, but everything about this degree has taken longer than I expected.

​Still, the process alone--while frustrating--has been quite enlightening. I've already been talking with some of my fellow educators about some of the trends that I'm noticing. My committee chair even remarked that he feels this study will attract the interest of educational tech companies who are looking to better understand precisely what I'm studying--what elements of gamification seem to work and what teachers want to help them best match the appropriate elements with the right students.

I'm looking forward to finalizing this and sharing the results.

I've lost a lot of faith in people lately. I've long considered myself a cynical optimist, but my cynical side seems to be able to say, "I told you so," more and more often of late. From the unexpected pettiness of people who I thought were professionals to the uncaring crassness of community members who I thought were Christians, I have felt my surety in the future of humanity begin to shake. 

I'm just so utterly disappointed in the words and actions of a number of people who I used to respect. I try not to blame it on them; after all, the world is filled with deliberately conflicting voices. At a time when nearly all of the knowledge and wisdom of humanity is at our fingertips, the great deceiver's only option is to flood us with a deluge of misinformation. However, ignorance only excuses so much. In many cases, I know that these people have heard the Truth, but have chosen selfishness instead.

And it's wearing me down. 

One of the good things about my job is that I have continual doses of antidote to these poisons. While my students are certainly under a great deal of pressure and some are just struggling to make it to the end of the school year, they still leave me with bits of brilliance that lighten my heart and restore some of my optimism. I'm also filled with the determination to do better for their sakes. This world can be better, must be better, for them. 

It helps also that I have an amazing partner in life whose very presence can fill me with joy. That we together have such wonderful children is yet another blessing on which I can depend. With friends and family as even more support, I can feel my strength returning. With God as my guide, I know that only good will come in the end. 

Perhaps these times are not wearing me down so much as honing my appreciation for the blessings I have.

I spent the day telling students and staff, "May the Fourth be with you," throughout the day today. To those who replied with "May the Fourth be with you," "And also with you," or the more proper, "And with your spirit," I replied with my new favorite, "This is the May!" I had considered bringing one of my lightsabers, but as both of them are Sith (Vader's and Renn's) which are more appropriate for "Revenge of the Fifth" which I do not celebrate, I decided not to … among other reasons. I did wear a Star Wars shirt, but I admit that my wardrobe options are pretty limited for days like today.

Despite the enthusiasm of several of my students, I think that I'm going to wait to watch the Bad Batch (whose first episode was released this morning in honor of Star Wars Day) sometime during this summer. While the boys would probably like it, I don't think Janelle would appreciate watching the cartoon with me, especially since she hasn't seen The Clone Wars series. I've heard it was good, so it does give me something to look forward to watching.

As for watching, I had fun cheering Connor on as he ran the 400 meter race in our Borough prelims today. While he did not qualify for the finals outright, he did well enough to be an alternate. I could tell he was pleased with the results, earning a new personal record in the process. I also think that he is happier only having to worry about the 1600m on Saturday.

Although today did not contain any massive celebratory gestures on my part, I still enjoy this kind of faux-holiday as it reminds me of something I enjoy while connecting me with my culture of nerds and geeks from around the world.

May the Fourth be with you!