I just finished watching My Fellow Americans, a comedy from 1996 where two ex-Presidents (one Republican, one Democrat) must work together to help uncover a plot to discredit and kill them.   Played by Jack Lemon and James Garner, these two Presidents can't stand one another, but they not only learn how to work together, but they learn something about the people in the country that they were running as well.

I like this movie for its comedy and its entertaining cast, but mostly for the themes that it has.  One of the most important of these that struck me as I watching the movie today is how much more we accomplish when we work together rather than when we work against one another.  

Politics in America was designed to be divided.  The intention of the founders of this nation was to create a system that required debate and discussion before action could be taken.  Too often in America's history has this intentional division been taken too far.  Too often do the politicians on both sides use rhetoric to demolish the other side rather than use action to prove the positives of their own positions.  This is not a new phenomenon, but it is sad nonetheless.  

This is a nation that needs debate in order to make certain that the government is doing what is best for its citizens, but it needs debates that don't completely alienate the various positions.  We need to start listening to one another again and acknowledge the strengths of the various arguments.  The politicians of our nation are not trying to destroy America, and we need to recognize that.  People are not wrong simply because they support a different political party.  Once we clear those unworthy ideas from the American consciousness, we can make our country (and our world) a better place.

You see, you can learn things from watching movies.

Today's Gospel reading (Matthew 13:24-43) held three parables.  

The wheat and the weeds
The first of the parables, like last week's reading, is often used by people to justify their views of predestination.  In it a farmer plants good seed in his fields, but his enemy plants weeks in the farmer's field while the farmer is sleeping.  The farmer allows both wheat and weed to grow together out of concern that pulling up the weeds might also kill good plants.  Instead, he lets them grow together and only separates them at the harvest.

It's easy to see why this would lead people to the idea of predestination as the good and bad are determined when they are still seeds (this is also where the expression a "bad seed" when referring to a person can be traced back to).  Yet what most followers of predestination miss is that the farmer allows the wheat and weeds to live together.  This was Jesus's answer to why evil is allowed to exist in the world.  He is not willing to damage (or even mistakenly destroy) the good people just to rid the world of evil.  There is also a suggestion that it is not fully possible to discern the wheat from the weeds.  While people might judge one another as evil or worthy, only God knows the final outcome, and thus only He is the proper judge.

In the sermon today, we were told that the wheat and weeds can also be taken to look at the experiences in our lives.  We have time to still nurture the proper tendencies and feelings within us.  This idea connects to the last two parables which deal with faith being compared to a mustard seed (which might start as a small seed, but can grow into a large plant that gives others rest) and to yeast (which only needs a little to help a large amount of dough to rise).

Too many people focus on the part of the burning and the "wailing and gnashing of teeth" and not enough of the nourishing and hopeful side of these teachings.  We have to allow the seeds of faith to grow within us, not just for our lives but for the lives that we touch.

We took my youngest in for his shots today.  The poor kid needed to get five of them.  He was really calm as the nurses readied his first two shots, but once they stuck him, he started crying and mildly trying to get away.  My wife held him without any help, but he did tense up his legs (which makes shots more painful) when the last three were given, making him scream out.

I was impressed at the efficiency of the nurses; the actual shots only took a minute even with them stopping to try to soothe him.  Of the five, his reaction was not the most violent or the loudest, or even the calmest (the award for which goes to Katrina who mostly just glared at the doctor who administered her shots).  I remember getting my shots, one in particular that made my arm harden like a rock for several days.

As a parent, its hard to watch my children in pain, even if I know that it's for their benefit.  It has not gotten easier.  It's hard to explain to someone (a child, in particular) that the pain he was going through today would help benefit him in the long run.

There's a metaphor in there somewhere . . . 

The song is running through my head and I only really know that one phrase from it.  Truthfully, I didn't have a bad day, but it will not go down in history as one of my better ones.  In the book that I've been reading about creating an electronic presence for myself, the author suggests that you shouldn't write a blog post on a day when you are angry.  People don't like angry (even if the popularity of the Hulk suggests otherwise).

I have found that the author is probably correct.  Usually, when I talk about something that is bothering me or something bad that happened to me, the person to whom I was complaining gives an example of something even worse that happened to them.  It becomes a reciprocating cycle of one-downsmanship.  

As hard as it is, I usually find that the only thing that gets me out of the funk of a bad day is being positive and counting my blessings.  If I focus on how bad the situation is or on revenge (and I can be pretty creative when it comes to revenge), I just end up feeling worse.  If I find the silver lining, it's as though a heavy stone has been lifted from my brow and I can think more clearly.  This isn't about a false positivism; for this to work, I need to find something truly good in the situation or in my life and celebrate it (not ironically).

Now, demons will still try to bring those bad thoughts to mind.  I find that the only way to consistently keep them back is to recognize who benefits from my misery: it isn't my kids or my friends, not my co-workers or my spouse,  and it certainly isn't me.  Thus the only true revenge is leaving that misery behind.  I certainly don't want to support the devil that benefits from my misfortune.

Life is good and my blessings are many.  My state of mind is my own to control.

Today's First Reading, Psalm, and Gospel talked about seeds.  The Gospel reading (Matthew 13:1-23) is one that had bothered me for a long time.  Jesus gives the crowd a parable about seeds.  Some fall on stone and can't take root, some are choked by vines, some are in poor soil and burn away under the sun, and some fall on good ground and yield a fruitful harvest (I really have that Responsorial Psalm in my head).  He later explains to His disciples that the seeds are people who hear the Word and respond to it in various ways (ignoring it, being overcome by worldly concerns, being enthusiastic and then burning out, and accepting it fully).

What had bothered me is that I had long interpreted that parable as meaning that God, as the sower, throws His people into these different circumstances where they don't stand a chance of following His Word.  In this situation, it's not the fault of the seed that lands in hard ground, or weeds, or weak soil; nor is the seed that lands in good soil worthy of praise due to its good luck.  I used to wonder how God can blame us for the circumstances that He threw us into.  I know that this interpretation is not unique to myself.  It's the basis for the concept of Calvinist predestination.

Now, I don't know if it's because of translation, or if two thousand years has changed the mental intent of language, but I no longer think that my earlier interpretation is correct.  As I see it, the sower is anyone spreading the Word and the seeds are our situation in life as the Word hits us.  The parable seems to present us as powerless, but the truth is that we have control over the "ground" where the seed lands.  We choose if we wish to harden our hearts, to be overwhelmed with worldly concerns, to be fair-weather followers, or to accept Christ completely.  While God is ultimately the only one who can save us, we still have actions that we can take, patterns of thinking that we can build which can make us more receptive to Him.

What I now like about this parable (and what shows me that it isn't about predestination) is that the sower sends the seeds everywhere.  The sower isn't crafting perfect rows filled with the right about of moisture and nutrients while ignoring everything else.  Instead, all of the ground is getting a chance to have the seeds grow within it.  So to is it with God's Word and Love.  They're not just for the wealthy, the healthy, or the wise (I'm tired, sorry); they're for all of us if we are willing to accept them and willing to accept Him.

During the summer, I try to play tennis with my father twice a week.  We are both self-taught tennis players, but his extra decades of experience more than make up for any age difference.  Part of his advantage is that his experience allows him to recover better from faults, while I tend to tense up.

When playing earlier this week, I started out pretty strong, but then double-faulted on a set of serves, giving my father the point on a game that I had been dominating.  He laughed and said that we both knew what was going to happen now.  I double faulted again.  While I would get the next serve over, the rest of that game, and then set (a group of games where one player wins at least six games), and then the following two sets seemed to be filled with poor shot after poor shot on my part.  Any correction that I seemed to make only things worse.  While I believe I won two more games from that first double fault, most of that morning was filled with frustration, and I let that frustration and doubt prevent myself from moving forward.

I also got beaten up a bit in other aspects of my life.  I have had a number of complaints about my abilities, my humor, and my personality lately.  Some are the attacks of petty intent, while others have come from people for whom I have a great deal of respect.  In some cases, there have even been financial repercussions due to people who have tried to tear me down.  While I have had plenty of positive compliments sent my way, the assaults have cut me to the quick, especially this week.   Some of them have hurt more due to the time and effort that I made to try to anticipate and appease them before they even occurred.  Some have hurt because they held just enough truth to sting and sting badly.

I pray that Jesus grants me the strength that He showed when He was reviled and attacked.  May I not let these events and comments seep into my mind and keep me from moving forward.  May I take the criticism that is valid and improve while forgiving the vile and hurtful attacks.

Today's sermon was delivered by a visiting priest who had a number of interesting points.  I wish that I could remember all of them, but I have been able to piece a few of them together.

He spoke a bit about the background of the feast day.  Saint Peter was the Rock on which Christ chose to build His Church.  Saint Paul was the missionary who brought the Christ to the Gentiles.  Sometimes they fought with each other, but in the end they reconciled, agreeing that Christ's message of Love was a message for all, not just a chosen few.  In the end, they both became martyrs for the faith who fought with one another but reconciled.  

He discussed the importance of not being overly judgmental.  Jesus confronted the Pharisees, who tried to make the Laws of God the laws of man.  Some try to make the laws of man the Laws of God.

And he talked about the importance of love, especially love (not narcissism) of one's self.  If you are not happy with yourself, you need to identify why.  Once identified, you need to apply God's Law of Love to the problem.

I wish I had something to write with as I was listening to him because I have already forgotten several of his main ideas; I certainly haven't given enough credit for the points I did remember.

I have already admitted to a video game addiction, but in some ways it goes deeper than that.  One of my largest problems is that I don't just want to beat a game, I want to conquer it.  I want to beat every aspect of the game.

This partially stems from my overall personality, and partially from the fact that we only had two games for our first six months with our first video game system (a Nintendo Entertainment System): Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt.  I learned every aspect of both games.  While my father set and made a goal of "rolling" the score with Mario, I set both speed and completion goals.  My final goal: complete the game without warping and without losing a life.  I managed to complete that goal before I received our third game (it would be another six months before we would get our fourth).

That third game was the NES version of Ninja Gaiden.  I played the game so often that I had memorized (with different voices) almost all of the dialogue from its (at the time) innovative cut scenes.  Beating the game on a single life proved to be a goal that was beyond my skill, but I did manage to beat it without having to hit "continue," an achievement about which I still hold a bit of pride.

Video game creators know about people like me, and so they often load their games with extra content and challenges beyond what most people would attempt.  In truth, I kind of hate them for that.  Some of the challenges have become so obscure and sadistic that trying to accomplish them is a form of punishment.  Worse, my compulsive desire to beat everything goes unfulfilled, leaving me with a vague sense of being a "quitter" and more than a little residual anger.

The worst offenders are games that give achievements for aspects of the game that are outside of the normal game's purview.  Examples of this are games like Starcraft II that only gives 100% campaign completion if a player puts hours into its Lost Viking mini-game (not just beating the mini-game, but beating it multiple times) or the Arkham Batman games that require completion of combat "challenges" in a mode separate from the main game.

Following closely are games that incorporate multiplayer elements that count towards completion of a game that is primarily single player, or vice-versa.  After this are "cheap" awards for beating a level in a certain time limit or without taking any damage.  I call these cheap because well-designed levels have additional challenges that require more than just rote memorization of the level.

I like many of the more ingenious challenges that make me think about the game in ways that standard gameplay does not.  However, I would prefer to not deal with a lot of the crap that games incorporate to supposedly create "replayability" but are, in truth, just annoyances.  That said, I have recently been playing through the Assassin Creed II games in an effort to finally get "100% synchronization."  My wife says that such goals are "stupid," and she's probably right; I recently threw one of my controllers in frustration (the "tank" level of Brotherhood) with enough force to damage it, something I haven't done since my Super Nintendo days.

Still, I finally conquered the level.

The Holy Trinity is one of the great Mysteries of the Catholic faith (as well as many other Christian faiths, but their mysteries are usually written with a lower case "m").  It certainly is a bit of a head-scratcher.  Take the Baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist (one of the Luminous Mysteries).  As John is baptizing Jesus (who is God), the heavens open and the Holy Spirit (who is God) descends in the form of a dove, and the voice of God the Father (who is God) says that Jesus is His beloved Son with whom He is well pleased.  So ... God sends God to bless God and tells God that God is pleased with God.

According to today's homily, St. Augustine was told that by an angel that it would be easier for a human to dig a hole and fill it with the water of the ocean than to understand the Mystery of the Trinity.  I'm not going to doubt such an interesting analogy; there are certainly elements of our universe that we simply cannot comprehend.  Yet I prefer to think of the Trinity, though I might not understand the entire Mystery, as something a little closer to human comprehension.  

Take Saint Patrick's idea of the Shamrock: three leaves, yet one plant.  Or better yet, I like the analogy made by a Christian comedian (whose name currently escapes me) who said that the Trinity was like a fresh, homemade cherry pie cut into three pieces.  On the surface, they look like three pieces, but underneath the crust it's still one pie with filling interconnecting what looks like separate pieces.

I may have said this before, but I think that we, as creations in the image of God, might not fully understand the Mystery of the Trinity, but we deal with it within ourselves on a daily basis.  We, too, are divided into body, mind, and soul.  We, too, sometimes talk to ourselves yet recognize that we are still one person (well, many of us do ...).  

What I really liked about today's homily was the emphasis that, although there is only one God, He is not alone.  His very essence (the Trinity) is a being of love, which is why when He revealed Himself in the form of His Son, the message was a message of love:  "Love one another as I have loved you."

... Now I want some pie ...

For it is better to suffer for doing good,
if that be the will of God, than for doing evil. (1st Peter 3:17)

As I was listening to the second reading in today's mass, much of my attention was on the slight mistake that I made while singing the day's psalm.  You see, I had started on the wrong word and then quickly moved back to the correct word and sang on as though no mistake had been made (as people who perform are taught to do).  Anyway, despite my mostly feigned attention (I was sitting in front of the congregation, after all), my mind was not on the readings when the above line jumped out at me.

I love the sentiment of this line, but I wonder about it as well.  Have people listened to this line and put up with suffering because they believe that it is "the will of God"?  I am struck by the simple nonrestrictive clause "if that be the will of God."  If you remove the clause, the statement is straightforward: it is better to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.  Yet that isn't the entire line.  The will of God addendum creates a new line of questioning.  Should people suffer for doing good?  If you are suffering for doing good, should you put up with it?

The earlier section of the reading talks about the importance of Christians telling people about the source of their hope, but to do so in a way that leaves them blameless (apparently the Westboro Baptist Church, among other antagonistic Christian organizations, forgot to read this portion of the Bible).  Thus, their suffering is in doing God's work.  The later section equates their suffering to the suffering of Christ for our sins. 

 I think that the added clause makes it clear that people shouldn't seek ways to suffer for God.  So many people look for ways to punish themselves as a way to purify themselves.  I can't help but think that this clause warns against that idea.  God doesn't want us to suffer, let alone want us to seek out ways to suffer.  He wants us to do good, to be blameless in both our treatment of others and of ourselves.

I occasionally reference the idea of a multiverse.  The belief is that a separate universe exists for every possibility of every moment of creation.  With that many existences, anything is possible.  If you take that concept and meld it with idea that perception is the basis of our existence (I think, therefore I am), then the world that you are experiencing now is the one where you live forever.  As I gave the concept thought, I realized that a "normal" life probably had the best chance of living the longest.

I don't know how much I buy into this concept, but I find it interesting.  Having recently watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which was similar to another story idea of mine, I found myself remembering the idea of a story where a man goes through his rather ordinary life, but the audience sees the various amazing and terrifying possibilities that his life could have taken.  In some he gains fame, in others he gains power, but it becomes clear as the story goes on that the only reason he is still alive is due to the rather mediocre, yet pleasant, life that he is living.

I am a little concerned about people "moralizing" this kind of story.  I do not want to create propaganda for being boring.  Still, I like the concept and would like to see how a filmmaker could achieve this visually.

I just finished watching the Matrix again.  When I saw it the first time, I loved the internal conversations that it prompted me to have with myself about the nature of reality.  The concept of universe around us being only a shell of the true reality is an idea that strikes a definite cord in my soul.

The first time I was really struck with this idea was actually in a Garfield comic book.  In it, various versions of Garfield were presented by different artists.  In one, Garfield is a space pilot whose entire life and death experience turn out to only be a computer simulation.  I don't know why the idea struck me so hard in such a lighthearted genre, but I remember the idea plaguing my dreams for months.

The second time I encountered this idea was in Plato's concept of the cave.  In this philosophy, all of our existence is just a shadow of what is actually true.  We are prisoners of our senses, only willing to believe what we can directly experience.

Of course, the Matrix brought these ideas back to mind, but the other movie that brings me back to these thoughts is the Truman Show.  In this movie, not only is the reality a fabrication, but it is observed.  What appears to be an ordinary life is an inspiration to millions.  I often wonder how that story continues past Truman walking out that final door.

I believe these stories and concepts stick with me because I recognize an underlying truth within them.  This life is not the true reality.  Reality as we know it is but a shadow of our true existence.  Yet our lives are important and worth living as they inspire the life that waits for us beyond.

We are created in God's image.

This idea is a part of my faith.  I don't believe, however, that this was necessarily meant literally, at least in the way that most people think.  I believe it means that we, like God, are made up of a trinity: heart, mind, and soul.  I think that this is what Jesus means when He says that the greatest Commandment is to "Love your God with all your mind, with all your heart, and all your soul."  In this statement, He is evoking our entire selves.

I think that Freud was on this same idea, although he missed the mark, when talking about our Id, Ego, and Super Ego.  He got the three components, but did not capture their true natures.

Jesus's Commandment instructs us not only to be devoted to God, but to come to a unity within ourselves, something that is not easy to do.  Rarely are our three components in agreement with each other.  Some people mistakenly try to settle this conflict by forcing an aspect of themselves into the shadows, or nurture one aspect to the expense of the others.  What we need to learn to do is listen to the needs of each part of our own trinity, bring them into agreement, and find a way for them to work together.

We are, each of us, three persons living as one.

On my main page, I mention that I created this blog with the intention of writing at least once a week.  Like many of my intentions, I have not really fulfilled this one.  I have several started writings that I haven't finished, and some ideas that I both want and fear to write, that have been holding me back.  Since I'm not teaching a Saturday class this term (or the next, or the next after that), I figured I could use the relative quite of my Saturday mornings to try and accomplish what I originally set out to do.  That said, here are a few thoughts from this week:

Advent Concert
On December 1st, my church (Saint Mary Star of the Sea) is hosting its annual advent concert.  I have a bit of a duet in one of the songs and I would like for those friends and family who can to attend.  It is usually a gorgeous concert, its free (although I believe donations are accepted), and there is a banquet of cookies and brownies once it is over.

Evil's Existence Proves That God Is Good
I have been in a debate this week about the nature of God.  The argument of my debate partner is that if God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and that nothing can exist outside of the will of God, then if evil exists, God must also be evil.  My answer is that the existence of evil proves that God is good.  First, death and suffering are not themselves evil (evil forces have simply been trying to convince us that they are).  Evil is determined by intent.  God's intent is pure good, thus God is good.  More so, God's two greatest gifts to His creation is life and free will.  Being all-powerful, he could force His will upon us and only allow good to occur, but that would destroy His own gift (an evil act).  Instead, the fact the we have the free will to choose between good and evil intents proves that He is the ultimate good.  The expression "If you truly love someone, then you will set that person free" holds true in this argument.  God does not want mindless devotion.  He wants us to return His love, but is not going to force us to that conclusion.  Instead, He patiently waits for us and guides those who ask until the end of the endless when we join with His angels in the eternal Alleluia.

Handyman
My parents just received a new oven, microwave, and refrigerator (which all look great in their redesigned kitchen).  Unfortunately, the cabinet around the refrigerator does not give quite enough clearance and the microwave needs to be installed above the oven.  Concerned that the installation fees are too high, my parents would ask if I would do it.  When I first looked at the job, I was set to tell them to have the professionals look at it, but my hero-complex activated and I told them I would do it.  I am heading over a little later today; we'll have to see how it goes.

Comcast
Comcast raised my bill by more than $20 a month (granted, the "more than" is due to taxes) for a monthly total of over $150.  I have become accustomed to my DVR and having access to shows like Downton Abbey and Dr. Who, but my main options (as told to me by Comcast) currently are: keep the same services at this higher price (which was a little too high even before the price increase ), take a promotion which will give me more channels (including HBO) and faster internet (double the speed) for the same price but will increase by another $20 in another year, or remove some of my services.  I planned on dropping Comcast entirely, but have since discovered that they are the ONLY high speed internet service available to our neighborhood (with the exception of satellite which does not provide the upload speeds I need).  I am still unsure which way I am going to go on this one.