One other reason that I didn't go, and I know how this is going to sound, is that I sang in Fiddler when I was a junior in high school. It sounds weird, but it was one of the moments ... if not THE moment ... when I felt about the best about myself in my life. My junior year, especially the year of 1991, was a high point in my existence: I was the lead in the musical, I received a standing ovation for a speech that I gave to hundreds of my peers at Boy's State, and I went backpacking in Yellowstone and the Bear Tooth Mountains. I have yet to achieve any level of accomplishment that compares to those three. Yes, I've had plenty of personal achievements and great moments in my life since then, but at the time I felt that I was on a rising path to greatness ...
I watched my daughter in Fiddler when her school put it on and I spent nearly the whole time wanting to jump on the stage and focus the attention on me, showing them how to "do it right." I could hardly pay attention to the musical as my mind spent the evening thinking back to those "glory days" which now seem so far away. I love the character of Tevye. In some ways, I feel like my fatherhood is at least partially modeled after him. I don't want to watch someone else sing his part.
I never even saw my performance. It wasn't taped (or at least not that I'm aware of). My wife and children have never seen that focal point of my life. Maybe if I saw it, I wouldn't be as attached to it. In my memory, I was amazing. Perhaps now I could see as it was, a high school performance, albeit a good one, but nothing that I should still stay focused on.